Torn between reality and illusion, he had to choose one extreme but in his utter chaotic state of mind, he didn’t want to take a wrong decision.  He decided to walk on that path which was bedded with thorns, surrounded by obstacles, enveloped by fear and life-threatening dangers. The turmoil in his State and within him toyed with his confusion. Finally he took the decision of his life- to fight for his Motherland, to liberate it from the clutches of harsh, regimes: the Urizens of his nation. He wanted to be the “Omar Mukhtar” of his nation.
There was all-encompassing environment in his motherland which was rocked by the tremors of the Freedom Struggle and in that whirlpool; he was one among the thousands who were swirled by it. People got inspired by their revolutionary ideas and were swept by love and patriotic feelings. The most esteemed and prized dream was cherished by every person- boy, girl, old, young- people from all walks of life, and he, too wanted to accomplish this dream- make it a reality, be a part of this revolution. The excitement incited him and he felt himself to be in conspiracy with the Divine power that chose him among the fortunate ones for the most revered aim in one’s life.
He left his home, his family, the comforts of his luxurious life and went for that ultimate goal- The struggle. He had to undergo the rigorous training both mentally and physically- which was just too much for his mind and body that were meant and used to the cozy life. But he endured it all, bore all hardships, suffered every impediment and came out as a very tough, determined and spiritual person whose very soul of his being had been transformed by the ordinary, hard, lowly life of a fugitive. He was no longer the soft-spoken, sophisticated boy of a city but a rugged, crude and highly religious man of the mountains whose life was governed by one principle- to die in the way of Allah as a martyr. He toiled hard against both the wilderness and nakedness of the nature and against the repressive force of the governing despotic tyrannical rulers that suppressed the Movement and used every means to shatter the strengthening fabric of the Movement. He moved bravely, steadfastly against every barrier and was so sure that he is going to achieve the dream- his final destination.
The Movement took its toll. Some of his close aides succumbed to the pressures, others surrendered and the blessed ones were martyred. He moved from one rank to another and the resistance continued, prolonged and finally after some 21 years, he longed for the Movement, the one he had dreamt, believed in but it remained a unfulfilled aspiration. He never faltered his hope in the Struggle, in the faith that his motherland will one day, be free.
He was caught and was thrust into the jails around, brutally tortured and today he is languishing in his isolation, sits by the window of his jail with the scars on his soul but still in his eyes, is the unwavering flame of the hope of his dream coming true- that of FREE KASHMIR.

(Javeria Khurshid is from Department of English, Kashmir University. Feedback at syed_javeria@rediffmail.com)

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