Explore, discover and know yourself. It may help you to present a better you to others, writes Dr. Mushtaq Chalkoo.

Precious, practicable and rewarding, absolutely free from any negativity or to demean your spirit. It may lend you the wings of freedom and let you know who you are intrinsically and not how the world sees at you or recognizes you as being. The question goes to say who am I? Let us answer this question with truth and complete candidness. Embark on a journey of knowing yourself and knowing it well for yourself and others. It will unleash a spectrum of emotions, feelings and experiences about you. You are sure to come across a most trusted friend at the end of the road and that is none else than you, yourself.
You need to befriend yourself first. Learn about you. Look at you. See the inside, the emotions, the pain, the wants, the actions and the reactions. Watch them and observe them. Study them almost as if you study a specimen in a laboratory. This is the start of your journey to self discovery. Sometimes, what you learn will shock you and at other times you will be filled with awe. There may be moments, when you feel small and at other times you will feel the sky is within reach. Whatever it is that you feel, that you experience on this road will bring you close to yourself, closer to finding peace, lasting happiness and a feeling of wholeness. Try to learn that being alone is not always being lonely. Most of us do not like our own company and feel bored. Find peace with and within yourself and spend time alone, thinking, feeling and getting to know the one person who will always be with you. If thoughts come as they most certainly will, face them, think them through and then let them go. If there is something to learn from your past actions and experiences, do so and move on. Don't carry unnecessary baggage into your tomorrow, it slows you down.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. We all make mistakes. It is okay. See it, feel it, learn from it and leave it. Life will never pan out as you plan out. Things will happen that you do not want. People will behave erratically. Friends may sometimes not give you the support you counted on. Your significant other may let you down. Sometimes happy things happen, sometimes sad, sometimes humorous, sometimes bad and scary. Deal with the presented situation as best as you can. If the unpleasantness is caused by another person, tell the person what you think needs to be told calmly and politely and move on. In all situations do your best and leave the rest. Nothing remains constant; you better accept this and accept it gracefully. Life is a gamut of change. Learn to go with the flow. The change in most of the times will not be what we want to be. So accept that too. We may not change others, but in us, we have the power to change ourselves. If you want peace then change yourself. Most arguments stem from misunderstandings. It does not matter in the large scheme of life, who is right and who is incorrect. There should be only two people you need to answer to,i.e yourself and your God. If your heart and conscience is clear, then you need not to give clearance to anybody else. Remember this world is full of pain, intolerance, hatred, wars and sadness, so don’t add any of them. Be your own best friend. Love the time you spend with yourself. Turn this world into beautiful place and make your life charming. Do the things that bring the joy and add joy to whatever you do. Let me   conclude with that beautiful note that one cannot find peace in work or in pleasure, in the world or in the school, but only in one’s soul.

(Dr. Mushtaq Chalkoo is Consultant laparoscopic and minimal access surgeon Govt. Medical College Srinagar. Feedback at mushtaq_chalkoo@rediffmail.com)

Lastupdate on : Mon, 29 Mar 2010 21:30:00 Makkah time
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