The notebook in which I had jotted translation of some favourite Urdu poems was lying sprawled on the table and I was pondering last Sunday about the subject of my column when the waiter brought my coffee. Sound of approaching visitor made me look up and I recognized the beautiful face. It was a pleasant surprise.
   Decades back I had recited the famous line “is that the face that launched one thousand ships and burned the topless towers …” to which she had retorted “too late …”and we had laughed it away. I remember heart beat skipped when I saw her in the bridal dress chirping happily when her groom arrived with baraatis while I too lined for reception.
   Years passed by but often her sparkling eyes, exuberating liveliness, frolic and confidence splashed on my mind’s screen, whenever I imagined her happily married. Above all her different outlook, her honesty, her loving and  caring nature, her boldness to differ from the traditional way of thinking always made me respect her ever since we got acquainted.
    The intervening decades had changed something in her. Her eyes betrayed that. She was happy over the family decision of migrating back to the valley where her relatives and friends lived. A nice house was here to live the life of affluence; strengthened further during the decade spent in a foreign country.
Since joint family system is largely still intact in our Kashmir and tales of Hushe Noeshe te Derkakan ki tutu mai mai or that of majje gobbur and shande gaend toote- that form ghar ghar ki kahani are not tales of any alien land I enquired in lighter mood about her family life but on that front she had almost nothing to complain. After ending queries about my family life she braced up the matter of writing while sipping coffee. As she was turning pages of my note book I made her stop and read the poem that runs thus:

Beneath the pillow/Of every dame/There lies (concealed)/A sharp blade/Glue/And some pictures.//
  
Before going to sleep/ She clips a number of them/And creates/A picture.//

A pair of eyes on this face…./Bedecking the face with that body…/She continues to play/
Till/Weariness overtakes her.//

Thereafter…/With arms entwined/ She sleeps/
   With any man of flesh and blood.//

     It worked; as this poem of Nida Fazli concerns every Eve’s daughter who has dared to dream at one point of her time or other. She was silent for a moment and when she looked up her silent eyes spoke eloquently or so I thought that time.
   Checking time on her watch she asked for my mobile number and enquired from the restaurant boy whether the kashmiri wazwaan dishes she had ordered were ready to carry along home. “Nice meeting Sarwar… I will call you in the evening …okay”, and she left.
   Conversing that evening she made me jot down 15 simple questions and ended the chat saying “on your affirmative score, the warmth of our friendship will depend”.
     I pass on 11 questions to my readers as they pertain to married men in general and do deserve a thought from all.
1) Do you apply balm on the forehead or back of your wife when in pain?
2)  Do you give greeting card, a rose or a small gift to her on marriage anniversary or birthday?
3)  Do you make her feel special now and  then by expressing simple words like ‘I love you, sweetheart”?
4)  Do you voice words of appreciation for all she does for you and  the family?
5)  Do you prepare bed tea for her and lend a helping hand in household chores especially when she too returns from work place, tired?
6) Do you hold her hand during family picnics/ outings?
7)  Do you strengthen communication lines with every passing day?
8)  Do you make her feel secure and comfortable in times when ground beneath her feet seems to shake?
9)  Do you respect her individuality and give her space and freedom?
10)  Do you help her in choosing the dress of her choice whenever you find her in front of wardrobe or mirror?
11)  Do you involve her in every decision- big or small, and respect her views/ wishes?

( Feedback at sarwar_55_mindscape@fastmail.fm)

Lastupdate on : Wed, 19 May 2010 21:30:00 Makkah time
Lastupdate on : Wed, 19 May 2010 18:30:00 GMT
Lastupdate on : Thu, 20 May 2010 00:00:00 IST