If I get a chance to turn the clock of the time and go back into my past, I would want to do one thing- ‘Ask forgiveness from the depths of my heart from my grandparents’. This is something I didn’t do when they alive, when I had all the time in the world, when they would look deep into my eyes and smile all along praying for me, forgiving me for my disobedience, rudeness and even laziness in doing things for them. Yes, they are no more. Both my Dada- Dadi! And all I am left with is my very guilty conscience, tears in my eyes and sweet memories of them, doing so many things for me; saving me from the scolding of my dad for my misbehavior, putting up excuses for my naughtiness, concocting tales for me, wiping my tears, making me laugh, listening my grumbles, protecting me, singing me lullaby for my sleep, teaching me how to pray, keeping the best part of things for me and innumerable things they did!

Closing my eyes, I think of my Granny, an active, kind, adorable, compassionate, gentle lady, who was always busy in her prayers, reciting dua’as or in Sajda on the prayer mat. A lady who would never leave any person uneaten from her home, who would welcome even a tramp. And my Grandpa  as a sturdy man always looking after his trees or taking out crisp RS 20 note to give to his grandchildren. These memories seen so real that I hold out my arms and hands to touch them but all I find is darkness, a yearning in my heart for them, for their voices. The pain comes as something real and I realize that there is too much that time can’t erase. And the realization strikes me cold numb- my grandparents are no more! No one to put their old wrinkled, shriveled hands on my head and pray for my well-being; no one to give me Rs 10 note secretly and tell me not to tell anyone; no one to save or make excuses for my defiance; no one to narrate me fanta-fabulous tales about “Once upon a time…” ; no one to hold me in her lap and let me cry my heart out. My grandparents were the best and I realize this after they have gone, gone away, never to come back, never to hold me! This is so sad and unfortunate about us, human beings: we take everything and everyone so granted, living as if never to die, believing life to be immortal and when death strikes us or our dear ones, we comprehend the bitter and naked truth but then it’s too late.

I couldn’t do much for my grandparents when they were alive, being too busy in my life and taking everything so granted. But today I write for them and hope this write-up immortalizes them and everyone who reads this prays for their Magfirat and Janatul- Firdous for them. And I hope all the grandchildren out there ask forgiveness from their grandparents and love, care and show their concern before its too late because they are God’s one of the best and sweetest blessings bestowed upon us! I remember my grandparents with a smile and deep, revered memories. And I hope and pray wherever they are, the pious air around them whispers my plea for forgiveness.

I love you Dadaji and Dadi jaan! And you both will always dwell in my heart with your kindness and ‘out of the box’ love.. Just want to say ‘Thank You’.

Javeria Khurshid is a student at the Department of English, University of Kashmir. syed_javeria@rediffmail.com)

Lastupdate on : Thu, 25 Nov 2010 21:30:00 Makkah time
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