A saga of pain

Of time, age, love, life and longing

MUSINGS

FARYAAL BANDAY

Morning found her uncommonly busy in the kitchen. She looked ten years younger for her smile had creased out all the wrinkles away: Love adorns a human being beyond the limits of mortal comprehension and it was nothing but love that beamed in every inch of her countenance that day.
It was her son’s twenty eighth birthday.
Years slip away as quick as sand from the hands. It seemed but yesterday when he had learnt his first rhyme. It seemed but yesterday when he had attended the school for very first time; hair oiled and knickers ironed, he had been a regular picture of a weathercock amid furious winds. It seemed but yesterday when tooth fairy had stolen his first tooth away, when he had learnt cycling for the very first time, when the big boys of colony had deemed him big enough to play cricket alongside them. It seemed but yesterday when he had lost his heart to the brown locks, deep dimples and brown eyes for the very first time. It seemed but yesterday when he had joined the corps…..it seemed but yesterday when he had been transferred to ‘Koreal’…the craziest height, the bloodiest ground…possibly the smallest void between life and death.
Those events stretched over years and years but to her it all seemed like yesterday.
When people stay together it teaches them the essence of love and when they are apart it teaches them essence of time and love as one. Both of those things being arbitrary usually echo their own quintessence for times and times to come. Memories like soul are immortal.  They get bonded to every fiber of our body like something totally complacent. They live along with us, they lie along with us, they love along with us, they breathe along with us, they sigh along with us, they cry along with us. Though the most important thing about them is that after we cease living, they continue to live for as long as a person can feel so long will he cherish reminiscences.
The last goodbye between them stuck to her memory like something really precious that none could relish apart from her. He had been perfectly brokenhearted and he made no attempt to mask it. Though his expression had been accurate but his eyes…..they had been informally painful.
‘I will be back mother’ he had said. ‘Meanwhile find some beautiful girl…..enough of this bachelorhood ….the next time I go…I shall go a married man’
It had made her smile. Back then he had smiled too. His one sided, lopsided smile.
‘Today I am off to walk beyond the extent of my own dreams. I am proud mother…aren’t you?’
It pierced her heart to think of that moment yet she relived it million times a single day.
On his twenty eighth birthday His mother sat by the fire thinking of all of those memorable moments that every mortal knows of.
Something made her believe that his step would cross the threshold of their home today.
It wasn’t an instant, it was something more intricate.

The afternoon had subsided completely….moon shone high and bright in the scope of the sky. She thought she heard some muffled voices but she could be wrong of course…..
She heard them yet again and decided to draw the curtains…..she was surprised not afraid. The little wicket gate which she had closed with her own mortal hands stood wide open. There were shadows in the yard of people moving to and fro.
After a glimpse couldn’t she say what it was?
Her heart skipped a beat. Her eyes froze black. For a split second she shivered; unable to concentrate on a single thought. Her throat went dry…she gasped for breath.
An officer knocked.. She opened the door and walked out, he was saying something, and she was listening and not listening simultaneously.
There he was: her own flesh and blood.
His hair was arranged the way he always arranged it right from his sixteenth year, it looked a mass of silver strings. His expression was that of confusion, the one that flattered his features when he would be pretty confused. He had his uniform on and seemed to be sleeping a normal sleep. It seemed to her that she could wake him up any second.
She wasn’t trembling at all when she placed his head in her lap. How could a long mute human body respond to such motherly caress?
She combed his hair with her hands, she had no tears in her eyes, with a steady, sweet voice that had lulled him to sleep many a times and many a years before, she sang the rhyme which had been the first thing that he had learnt as a child
………. ‘When you wake up you will get all the pretty little horses’……
A hand had torn the life out of him. If the owner of that hand‘d have foreseen all this or for a split second felt humanity, would he still have committed this act.
Perhaps. Perhaps not. Who can tell.
  Time is the vilest deceivers of all deceivers. She wondered how it was still in vogue after such and such (innumerable) mishaps.

‘If I die first mother’ he said ‘how shall I welcome you in heaven?’
‘Don’t talk thus dear, scientifically I will die first’
‘Scientifically mother’ he said ‘there is no age for dying’
‘Hush dear hush’
‘God will give me some kind of idea I am sure, since it’s too painful for you to discuss it’.

Lastupdate on : Fri, 7 Dec 2012 21:30:00 Makkah time
Lastupdate on : Fri, 7 Dec 2012 18:30:00 GMT
Lastupdate on : Sat, 8 Dec 2012 00:00:00 IST




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