Relationships, Life Events and Stress

Good behaviour has a positive impact on health

Dr. ARIF MAGHRIBI KHAN
Srinagar, Publish Date: Aug 15 2017 10:52PM | Updated Date: Aug 15 2017 10:52PM
Relationships, Life Events and Stress

The world we live in has changed a lot. Some few hundred years back  any city or village  looked like one family. If anything good or bad happened, majority of people would gather and share their feelings, help each other. Then it became a mohalla affair, all people in any mohalla or locality lived like one family, then big joint families, then nuclear families and now reduced to a single mother or father. We began to judge people by the money, cars or posh houses they possessed.  Nowadays a person who is honest is considered a fool, a tolerant person as a coward, and the list of degenerating values goes on. Due to this it is  hard to find a place in Kashmir or most places where milk  which we purchase is not adulterated.  its pertinent to mention here that this milk is mostly consumed by our kids or pregnant and lactating mothers. The problem is when we are connected spiritually with God, he fills our hearts with honesty, love, compassion, and so many other qualities, but when we get disconnected and reduce our life only to few rituals and not essence of it, we become dishonest, angry, revengeful and even hardcore criminals. A friend from USA told me about this inspiring event, it was so inspiring I did not google search it to check its  authenticity.  A city in USA was famous for having a jail full of notorious criminals, and drug abusers who committed crimes; and what was infamous about this jail was that they were subjected to severe punishment, hardships.  But 99% of them after being released from jail returned back to jail in few months with same criminal or other charges. So governor of state decided to send all jail staff for training stretching one year. One was in CUSTOMER CARE of a mobile company and six months of CUSTOMER CARE in costliest of hotels. When they resumed their duties in jail, it was monitored for two years. It was found relapse rate of criminals reduced to 80, then 60 and slowly to 5 percent. How it all happened? The answer was now the staff had learnt a thing more powerful than a nuclear bomb..It was giving RESPECT.... 

Let we too start using this natural source of reformation in our offices, families, and all over. Let husband respect his wife, and vice versa. Let’s give respect to all including juniors in offices, as both respect giving tradition in family to office constitute the world we live in.

We should also free ourselves from burden of expectations. People ask how it is possible. It is quite possible, but we have to make our mind work on it. Best example of helping all from family to neighbors to state is of a trustee, who does not expect anything in return, but if someone thanks us or helps us, back becomes a pleasant surprise. Rather than believing that person whom we loved, showed compassion will do the same to us in return then it becomes a business and not pure love and compassion done only for the sake of one almighty God. And God's ways of rewarding are not easy to understand. Once few friends were travelling in a foreign land, they rested for a while including the friend who had paid for the trip and food as a gift to his friends on promotion and  was well versed with customs of that country. So he was keeping  all the money, to the utter surprise after rest they found 20 thousand meant for further travel and two weekends were stolen from his pocket. All friends were furious, but the friend with money remained silent. When he was asked to give an opinion he said; “May God make my friend who stole my money so rich that he will never have to steal anything from any one”. Since all friends lived in same city. After two years, while celebrating marriage of a daughter of one of the friends, to their utter surprise the friend who had stolen money came back. He came crying and begging for mercy, and money in his bag, which he gave to his friend. Further he told them how he needed money for mother's treatment. He was afraid his friends will not give him 15 thousand rupees meant for mothers treatment. He also told a long story of how he invested 5 thousand in a business and how rich he had become now. What was his viewpoint is not important, but how his friend reacted is important. He could have daily scolded his friend, talked bad about him all these two years, remained angry and bitter, changed his behavior for worst or stopped helping people. That would have not only spoiled his health but relationship with family and society, and still the friend would have come back with extra money, but then it would not had been possible to reverse his spoiled health or relationship with his family. In our life we get cheated in various ways by various people - from our siblings to a shopkeeper in market. In no way do I mean that we should not inform the law enforcing authorities, some will and some will not, but even those who reported to concerned authorities then should FORGIVE TO FORGET and let law of God and land prevail, rather than burning themselves in the fire of hate or revenge and bitterness.

And lastly as a student of spirituality I will say, If in past you have hurt someone, showed dishonesty, or hatred, now it;s time to show compassion; and love 4 times more than the original mistake. Merely donating now will make our present and future good but not remove past sins, and we will continue to pay in the form of illness.