I developed the worst suicidal propensities

Principles make an individual courageous,  practical and fearless 
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Life is a farrago of gift and test. It’s a gift because we are created as Ashraf ul Makhlooqat (superior to all creatures God has created). It’s a test because it’s impossible for us to succeed in life without going through a tumultuous and vicious cycle of things. This tumultuous and vicious cycle either vitiates you through and through or bolsters your enfeebled spine to face and harness terribly tough times, to your advantage. This all depends on the set of beliefs you intoxicate yourself with. Structuring your belief system impeccably, furnishing it meticulously and allowing them to take charge when need is felt yields enormously positive results. Your belief system shapes everything concerning you. As stoics have amply emphasised upon positive perception of yourself, it’s your perception of yourself and your perception of the world that matters, the rest is always felt redundant. To be able to read life accurately or to be able to analyse life, both what is happening and what might happen, is in itself a profound dexterity which escapes our appreciation, haplessly. The fact of the matter is we enjoy working and behaving like animals. We enjoy being taken advantage of, whether knowingly or unknowingly, doesn’t matter. When someone among us is able to read life practically, logically and accurately, it doesn’t take us time to repudiate and castigate the person. As the saying goes, ‘Real people are rarely found’.

Why am I saying all this? The reason is I divulged something of late that sort of rejuvenated a surreal kind of passion in me. It gave me an entirely different kind of feeling and an approach to gauge things in a much broader perspective. Having been through the phase of dyslexia coupled with rare physical conundrums, sustaining motivation or inspiration is an extremely herculean process for me. Therefore, I always search for individuals who radiate positive energy and help me reinvigorate. Though, God has given me ample to feel merry about, however, dissuasion and self-hate often take over me. I figured it out during the fourth year of my graduation but had no idea whatsoever how to surmount and circumvent it. With time it exacerbated. It pushed me towards social boycott. Social seclusion and disgust for socialization became a way of life for me. Deep down, I realized something is missing. Nonetheless, I had no inkling how to cross this barrier. Since my surgery things intractably went awry. The first and the most important thing that got the hit was my prayers. Neglecting prayers broadened the void in me. I started developing hatred for masses. In fact, I started hating everybody and everything including myself. Dearth of emotional support and emotional imbalance reached apogee. I could have been easily rescued had there been someone who could have provided me with emotional buttress and psychological stability. Just one of those things, I found no one to back me up. Without an iota of exaggeration, I yearned death. I developed the worst suicidal propensities ever. In the midst of this mayhem, my exams approached which to a constrained extent helped douse all of this but still didn’t obliterate it completely. At long last, I prayed to God after a very long time. I asked him for a way out and assistance. This rapprochement really proved worthwhile. And he joined me with someone who I call Akhi (Brother)-my cousin.

After I finished off my exams, I decided to come to Jammu. This proved to be a watershed. Here I met one of my cousins after a very long time- Dr. Roohul Andrabi/Akhi. He works at KPMG Global services as subject expert. I spent quite some time with him. Spending time with him taught me a lot about handling real life challenges. All his life what he has been through the most is tough times. Endurance through out those tough times has made him what he is today. Even a random and sporadic analysis of his life gives a substantial glimpse of his overall development which is very rare to ascertain. Apart from a variety of things which he taught me, importance of faith, perseverance, vision and passion are the important ones. Faith is a divine gift undoubtedly. Without faith you cannot achieve contentment. Your desires will overwhelm you. They will make your life hell. They will never let you take notice of blessings God has endowed you with. They will sadden you about the things you haven’t achieved. And that is what paves the way for depression and jealousy. Perseverance is one of the required things that guarantees success. It’s through the process of perseverance one learns about the different dimensions of a situation which helps an individual in ironing out the predicaments that come his way. Without perseverance success only remains a dream and can never turn into reality. Vision is something that glues a person to a set of principles. Inculcation of principles make an individual courageous. Principles make him practical and fearless. And when a person is fearless, it’s impossible to stop him. Insofar as passion is concerned, it’s the trigger for doing and accomplishing anything you want. Without passion in life, abdication is sadly the end result. You cannot stick to anything for far too long if you aren’t passionate about it. passion is a main thing that draws a person closer to his destination. Cutting corners, without feeling passionate about any lucrative or concrete thing, its highly probable that you might get involved into different kinds of social and personal devilries.

Syed Shahab u Din Andrabi is a final year Law Student, Jamia Millia Islamia, New Delhi

 Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts, analysis, assumptions and perspective appearing in the article do not reflect the views of GK.

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