It would be 7 years, this month, since you left for the final journey. You departed from our lives, this had never been the promise, and parting was never destined to be this soon. Not even a day has passed since that you haven’t been in our thoughts. From Holy months to Eid days, nothing except hope has calmed us down, in your absence. When the alarm bell rings from Sehri to Subhai Eid, I do wake up and with you in my mind I routinely pay a visit to your room, where we used to hug each other, laugh and talk, where we still smell the fragrance of the papers and books you possessed. But each time reality hits me hard. It has all been different, it has been melancholic. Days and nights, 7 long years without you have been gruesome, terrible, spending nights alone and crying in the darkest corners of room had been the ost horrible experience. It all feels lifeless, because we lost you. We had never imagined this life to be so hard, post your exit. Since you left, every day has been an Ashoora. Your leaving was the beginning of a long trial, and it came with things that made us the strongest of souls. Alone, thousands and thousands of thoughts have tangled my soul, since. “Why you left us”, “Should we be happy or sad”, “celebrate or mourn”!!
Mornings are dark, and evenings all gloom. Days have been hurtful and every night I battle with life, and without you. Even coping without you and wondering if we can handle things that we had never done without you. You had done those little things; holding our hands, not letting us fall, getting us our favorite food, taking us for an outing. At times, it had been impossible to cling onto things that were never of our taste, beyond our control, but mamma never gave up on anything; she grew into a superwoman. Every trial made her firm.
Dear Dad, she has held the stage, she has been the lone warrior, and she has been tall, firm and steadfast. During these 7 years we have grown, faced the worst of storms. Thanks to Mamma, how she held together us, giving us the best of this world. Nothing will ever fill the void why we couldn’t spend the best years of life together, like you seeing us grow from school to college. While I write this, my eyes are moist, fingers trembling, legs shaking; writing had never been so difficult. I don’t know whether these words are enough to capture what we feel, but we can never sum up what you mean to us. But yes, I wanted to write to you, to tell you how things out here are. Yes, the thought of your absence brings tears, and cries in life. Life has never been the same after you. But then, we know how could you be happy there, when we are sad here. We keep going on with hope, we keep going on with the promise of meeting in the hereafter, and we know, you are sitting in tranquility, drinking from the streams of Jannah, tasting fruits in the the very best gardens. You were independent and a man of honour, always.
Ifrah, Your Family!