“Society you’re a crazy breed, I hope you’re not lonelywithout me”. -Eddie Vedder
Our society has killed more dreams than anything else. When your worth as a human is judged merely on the basis of academic grades, when you are pushed to the wall for your dreams even in the 21st century, you know the funeral and last rites of the society are obligatory.
During childhood, people dream of becoming cricketers, actors, and singers, but little do they know that at a certain stage, their dreams will be shattered.
From ridiculing the choice of what one wants to become – other than a doctor or an engineer – to being contradicted by slangs like “log kya kahenge” (what will people say?) or “yath chun scop’ee yeti” (this career choice has no scope here), the response of the society to people attempting to expand their horizons beyond what has repeatedly been fed to them, is disheartening.
These words put the talent and qualities of the finest and the most intelligent people into the grave. This “opinion” of our society forces a person to drift away from his dreams; the dreams lay buried in some corner of their mind and heart.
So, the society in pursuit of getting a doctor, engineer, lawyer etc. begins to lose young ‘dreamers’. Since childhood, since the very time of our enrollment in our schools, our mind is conditioned such that we are made to look at limited options. Certain fixed goals and future plans are imposed on us by the society, regardless of our own wishes.
Our brains are already fed with what people close to us want us to become rather than with what we want to become. And this is the time where our capabilities and dreams bite the dust.
Not all of us find the strength to fight this battle. We become a herd of sheep without exactly knowing our destination. When someone is forced into a “forceful” field, he sees himself as a dull, weak person, while he could have excelled in the field of his choice.
But that is not to happen as the society rules the life of a “dreamer” here. During the course of life, a common person generally comes across couple of things, to go with a “forceful” profession. One: his parents are doctors/engineers/lawyers and he has to become one. Two: he can’t say “no” to his parents, and three: there are times when one can’t open up, stand up for his dreams in the society and ultimately he pays it with his life. One such example was of a science student, studying in one of India’s prestigious institutions, who wrote in his suicide note: “You manipulated me as a kid to like Science.
I took science to make you happy”. This statement clearly implies that he was forced into a particular field which his relative or a family member wanted him to be in, and certainly it wasn’t his own choice. This is not to suggest that our families are not concerned and deliberately send us onto the path of self-destruction; rather it is how the idea of what will bring prestige and money has limited our understanding of what dreams to pursue.
Can’t this victimisation stop by not projecting unfulfilled dreams on the shoulders of a ‘dreamer’? Can’t the younger generation make a decision about their future? Can’t we stop forcing children to do something that we couldn’t achieve in our youthful days? Because at the end of the day, it’s not the society, relatives who are going to feed the one suffering, rather it’s he who has to struggle and stand up for himself.
When there is no one to understand, when we start taking the society seriously, we start giving up and ultimately we pay it with our life. When intense psychological pressure starts to develop, takes one on, the child reaches a stage when he can’t face it all.
There are times when he breaks down and sees suicide as the last solution. But giving up one’s life is not the solution; rather, a serious introspection and a better understanding can help. So, dear society, please don’t become a hindrance in the path of someone pursuing their dreams. Let them go and grow.
(Author can be reached at @isalmanjeelani on Twitter).