The Kashmir Mughlai-cuisine in weddings is nothing new thatit would normally warrant any reappraisal. However, over the years, it has gotso convoluted that more than cuisine, it seems to be a big curse to attend awedding, let alone arranging and managing one. Marriages might be arranged inheaven, but they are surely messed up in Kashmir. The element of show-off hasadded new dimensions to our feast, and one wonders whether we are economicallyreally devastated because of the decades-old conflict? The normal seven-coursemeal—rista, roghan josh, paneer, palak, ab gosht, korma and goshtabah (thisdoesn’t include the dishes put over a bed of rice)—has now been replaced by amulti-cuisine extravaganza, making any event a sheer waste of resources. Therich could easily afford such extravagance, but for the poor, it becomes aback-breaking activity as they have to put all their meager resources togetherand, very often, go into debt for hosting a wedding.
One would often hear towns and villages blaming the city forinventing many rituals and customs—shehrikev hurarev biddat. But, my experiencein South Kashmir tells me that Srinagar is far better than the town inmaintaining restraint on the waste that goes unabated there. Although I havemanaged many weddings there, never before did I see people indulging inmindless spending on wazwan, making the entire event not only cumbersome inmanaging but also arranging. Whether it is nishaen (engagement) or khandar(wedding), the seven-course meal has become a thing of the past there. TheMughlai dishes put over a bed of rice in the serving plate (trami) haveundergone a radical change in the last three decades. While in Srinagar, twoseekh kebabs, two fried rib pieces (tabakh maaz), one piece of shank (danniphol); one or two shami kebabs, one full chicken cut in two or four pieces overa bed of rice is the normal serving, in South Kashmir, four seekh kebabs, fourfried rib pieces, four pieces of shank, two shami kebabs, two full chickens(one in red chilli and another prepared in yoghurt), lehbi kebabs (mincedmutton kebabs), a yoghurt-based mutton piece, and a slice of cheese prepared intomato sauce over a bed of rice have become a routine. The ‘while-eating’dishes served one after the other may vary, depending on the capacity of thehost. Serving veg in weddings has become a taboo in South Kashmir while inSrinagar cheese in tomato sauce and mushroom have a permanent position.
Who taught South Kashmir that a plate must be so coveredwith mutton dishes? They can’t blame the city for such extravagance as the citycontinues with its age-old tradition. It is good that people follow the”takeaway” system, carrying almost all mutton dishes in the polythene bags thatare provided along with water bottles, coke and hand-wash materials—Srinagarhadn’t learnt this trick until recently. The subsequent invitations—calledphirsaal and sat-raat (seventh day) in common parlance—are also much differentfrom what we do in Srinagar. Serving dry fruit and juices is common in both,but with tea, the South goes out of way in serving not only a big pastry piecebut also a box containing at least three bakery items—kanddi kulcha beingmandatory. The best part of the service is that everything that is served onthese occasions is carried home by the guests, being helped by the relativesand/or friends of the host. While Sringarites prefer saffron kehwa, the Southremains glued to hot milk in a samovar.
One may feel that extravagance in weddings is part of ourculture and therefore there was no need to talk about it. But, the fact of thematter is that we have increased the number of dishes at a time when all of uscomplain about of deteriorating economic conditions, especially since 1990s,and the outside world is watching our plight as moot spectators. On the onehand, we rue about having lost everything to the conflict and, on the otherhand, we do not shy away from spending lavishly at the weddings, both in termsof gold ornaments and wazwan. It is strange that such a waste of resources is neitherhappening in the Chinab Valley, nor is it a practice in Jammu Muslims. Whowould believe us that we aren’t affluent and that we are suffering because ofthe conflict? There is no denying the fact that the present conflict has mademany of us richer and many a rich has become paupers, but that is no reason forus to waste our resources and make the world laugh at us!
In this regard the role of the preachers who claim to be thesaviours of this hapless nation and who waste a lot of energy in shouting frompulpits about how Islam and Muslims are in danger at the hands of non-Muslimsis extremely pathetic. We, the people of Kashmir, are doing everything thatgoes against the very spirit of Islam that teaches us to be just and careful inour spending. Nobody has barred us from eating but extravagance in any form isdisliked–wakuloo washraboo wala tusrifoo… (7:31). We are neither conscientiouspeople, nor are our political and religious leaders able to raise awareness ofpeople about this waste as they participate in such events without anyobjections. In the present situation, such behaviour is very unfortunate. Theongoing conflict has devastated many families, leaving many girls hapless andhopeless. The money that we spend on the ‘curse’ called wazwan can be betterutilized to help them, especially those families that have lost their onlybread winners because of the chaos and confusion that we find in the streets ofKashmir. This madness must end if we have to survive! Let’s us make marriagessimpler and affordable and our cuisine restricted to what we can easily eat!