Dialogue with a Lemming

This Kashmiri guy who happens to be my friend is something of a globe trotter. Some months back his itchy feet took him to Norway. While in the train he had a very interesting conversation which he later narrated to me! I am reproducing the story in his words only.

My wanderlust took me to Scandinavia this time. I was travelling in a train in Norway, having started from the picturesque town of Trondheim my destination being the arctic coastal town of Bodo. My co-passengers were an interesting bunch as both humans as well as animals were travelling together in this train. You see unlike our part of the world humans enjoy equal rights with animals in most of the civilized world. A rat-like creature sat next to me and it spent most of the journey sleeping though it would occasionally wake up and flip through the pages of a glossy magazine when awake. I bought an English newspaper at one of the stations and spend some time reading it. As I folded it to put it aside I heard a voice by my side, ”Excuse me sir!” 

   

I looked to my side and was momentarily surprised to find that it was the rat like creature sitting by my side who was addressing me as he looked up at me. I said ‘momentarily’ because during my extensive travels I have see so much that hardly anything ever surprises me now. Of course I had not even let the momentary surprise show because probably it would not be considered polite.

“Sure! You can have it,” I handed over the newspaper. I was glad that the newspaper had provided me with an opening for I have always believed that travel should include interaction with the inhabitants of that particular place to enhance the experience of travelling. In fact I decided to use this opportunity to interact further with my fellow passenger. In any case this was the first time I would be interacting with someone not only from a different country but a different species as well. I took out a packet of roasted peanuts and decided to share it with this creature.

“Er…Mr Rat,” I sought to attract its attention but it was completely absorbed in reading the newspaper.

“Mr. Rat,” I [persisted ruffling the newspaper a bit.

The rat-like creature peered out of the newspaper and said, “Did you say something?”

“Yes Mr Rat,” I smiled at the cute creature, “Would you like to have some of these?” I proffered the packet of roasted peanuts.

The cute creature touched its paw to its mouth and crinkled its eyes letting out what must have been a giggle, “Did you say Rat? I am no rat mister!”

“Oh I am sorry!” I apologized, “Hope I didn’t offend you?”

“No! No offense! We do look like rats rather and anyway they are distant cousins so it doesn’t matter really! By the way I am a lemming.” He informed me.

“Lemming…” I had heard the word before but couldn’t quite place it.

“Well we are rather famous…though for all the wrong reasons mister! Where from are you?”

“Kashmir,” I said.

“Mmmm…I think I have read something about that…” the lemming closed its eye and seemed to be searching its memory like me.

“You must have I am sure. We do find a mention in the newspapers every now and then. You see we are also know nowadays for all the wrong reasons.” I said with a laugh.

“Oh really! You know what we are known for? Mass suicide! Imagine! It is said about us that masses of our kind rush towards the sea and then actually jump from the cliffs into the sea to commit mass suicide! It is supposed to be a kind of mad rush to death! You know like somebody does it and then another follows and then yet another follows and it goes on like this, one following the other without thinking! In fact all this has led to us lemmings becoming part of many phrases which are synonymous with ‘herd mentality’ that is following others mindlessly,” the lemming said.

I was intrigued to hear this and it struck a chord because it sounded similar to what people back home were doing, “That’s interesting! We in Kashmir have been doing something similar for a long time now! My people rush towards death almost every other day, towards bullets and pellets. There are deaths and then more deaths and then still more deaths yet we continue to repeat this pattern.”

“God! Why do you do it?” the lemming sounded horrified.

“Why do you?” I retorted.

“We don’t actually! It is just a myth that has been created about us. Actually we sometimes migrate towards other areas and what is thought to be our jumping into the sea as some sort of a suicide is actually that we are swimming towards some other place. Of course occasionally some of us do not make so probably that has struck somebody’s imagination and led him to exaggerate the whole thing and present it as mass suicide. So you see our mass suicide is just a myth really! It must be the same in your case I am sure?”

“No,” I said shaking my head and my voice sounded sad even to myself, “It is not a myth in our case. It is a reality!”

(Truth is mostly unpalatable…but truth cannot be ignored! Here we serve the truth, seasoned with salt and pepper and a dash of sauce (iness!). You can record your burps, belches and indigestion, if any, at snp_ajazbaba@yahoo.com)

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