Don't desert them when they are old

Greater Kashmir

Let me tell you about a poignant confession of an old lady, who consciously took the seat next to me while we were travelling in the same local bus. Distressed, her face looked worried, and when she was sitting near me, I habitually passed a zippy smile at her so as she feels comfort near. Finally the old lady broke her silence with some expressions. Because of my talkative nature, I hastily raised few questions about her, which she answered quietly. Shortly she started sharing her own things, as if buried in her heart.

“My sons don’t even ask about my well being, my two daughters-in-law never ask me to eat”.

After a brief pause the old lady continued, “sons abandoned me because their young wives refused to take care of me”.

“And if you have any daughter?”, I asked.

“She went there and left me alone?”, said she.

“Where?” I questioned.

The lady replied, “To his lord, (wailing) when she will call me to come?!”

The lady gasped in pain and I felt terribly sad.

“Where is your husband”, I then hesitatingly asked.

“No longer! And then explained that he used to warn me of the truth that they are not loyal sons, after my death they will leave you alone. If he would have been here,  I  wouldn’t have been wandering here and there”.

Afterwards the old lady silenced, and I could see her mournful eyes. May be she was longing to speak her pain to someone and I didn’t understand if I was the right one she shared her pain with. I think she was really bewildered by the mess the life played with her, however, I too took silence so as not to hurt her again by asking more questions, until I reached my place. Before getting off the bus, I told her, “I reached”. She placed her hand over my head and prayed for me.

From that day many questions pop up in my mind, disturbing my sense of happiness, ‘‘will I be doing the same to my parents, my elders, will this also happen to me in my old age, etc.?’’

Throwing parents out of home in their old age, disrespecting and deserting them – these are acts of shame and perhaps something which is growing in our society. I don’t understand what makes people disloyal towards the parents; such people are dangerous to all existing societies. Your parents are not only important part of your family, but something which is beyond that.

In the glorious Quran Allah the Almighty said,“And your lord has decreed that you worship none but him. And that you are dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor. (Al Isra ayat 23 ) And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” (Al Isra ayat 24)

Also a Hadith records that Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) has said, “Goodness towards one’s parents is the greatest obligatory act”. But it appears we have decided not to earn any good!

Allah commanded us to show goodness towards our parents but instead we have been abusing them. When you can’t be loyal to your parents how you could be loyal to your lord.  Have you any idea,  how a mother manages to hold you for the nine months  in her womb, delivers you with the utmost trouble, the suffering and the pain she goes through? Then both of your parents together make you stand on your own feet, walk and talk. Your father bears all your expenses, spends huge money on your education, and together they shower their immense love and care. Will you be able to count all the things they did? Absolutely not! And have they ever counted what they have done for you? Never! You know the first name you uttered was of your mother or father. They started loving you right from the time you were a fetus in the womb. It is your parents who introduced you to this world.

The above mentioned story is not to address some particular ones, it is about us all. Think for a minute the hands that raise you, that feed you, how do leave them ince they are old, and actually need you.

Let’s take an oath that we will never leave our parents helpless, we will look after them as they have done to us. We will honor them, respect them, love them, and be kind to them. May Allah guide us in the matters of our responsibility towards our parents.