Mourning

As corona pandemic ravages people across the globe,rising mortalities and continuous lockdowns are bringing paradigm shift arounddeath and dying. It is a watershed moment. There are no gatherings and nofunerals. No spatial commiserations. No personal condolences. Grief islingering in the air like the viral aerosols. It’s changing the patterns of oursocial exchanges. Chalking out unusual ways to handle and manage grief. That’swhy, fighting grief in the age of pandemic, has become a painfully personalbattle. It is subverting the established notions of sharing and caring.

Of course, funerals allow people to congregate and consolethe bereaved. It helps them to reminisce and recover. The assemblage givespeople a chance to console distraught in their difficult time. But Covid-19 haschanged it all. It’s strangely throwing up an agonizing challenge for emotionalviability of human beings. It has left us alone, both in surviving and dying.Every individual is strained to be a lone wolf.

   

We are witnessing quite unthinkable goings-on. Thequarantined family members and relatives could not attend the last rites ofdeceased elderly lady from downtown, who became eighth victim of Covid-19 inKashmir. Instead, she was laid to rest by local cops. Another Kashmiri woman, ayoung mother of three minors, succumbed to coronavirus at Dubai hospital. Dueto lockdown, the mortal remains could not be brought back to her homeland. Thedeath shattered her near and dear ones. No mourning; no sharing of grief. Inother case, a retired employee from Srinagar, who had traveled to UK to see hissons, lost his battle of life in a hospital after contracting deadlycoronavirus. He was buried there only. Back home, no condolence meeting washeld due to lockdown/social distancing.

Covid-19 mortality apart, the non-covid deaths includingthose of insurgents during the last two months also went un-mourned. Gettingburied by the regime at far-off unknown places in unmarked graves has evenvictimized mourning. The lockdown/social distancing left no room for collectiveprayers or recalling and sharing memories of deceased for recovering somethingthat gets lost with their death. It gets more appalling when the dead have beenconnected to us in some way or else contributed in making us who we are.

There are also many reports of Covid-19 deaths across theglobe wherein the families of the deceased patients were just informed aboutthe death, and burial was handled by the authorities. People hadn’t a chance toeven bid adieu to their loved ones. Mourning spaces disappeared. The somberdignity in dying seemed dwindling.

As we cruise along this pandemic and a new slogan “Learnto live with virus” making rounds, and we also mulling over the bitterfact that God has snatched the Right to Mourn from us —we need tore-visit and re-look at our philosophy of life and death; joy and sorrow. Weneed to pitch out past practices and frame new ways to share memories and mournmeaningfully. It’s mandatory for moving forward purposefully in life, withoutletting the sense of loss fade away.

Yes, if we dip extremely into death and distress, we won’tstand and survive. We need passages to accept the grim realities. Grief, as such,is not a phenomenon. It has to be lived and roved through. From beginning tono-end. It dribbles and drenches all the way. Taking us towardsself-actualization and helping us in healing. Gradually.

Bottomline: Khalil Gibran wrote, ‘Blessed are those whomourn, for they will be comforted.’ Mourning is a passage, an outwardexpression of our loss that aids in embracing and embalming the pain of ourloss—something we naturally don’t want to do. To evade, bottle up or disclaimthe pain of grief is effortless than confronting it head-on. But facing up thispain is what begets resilience and prepares us for reconciling with therealities—dawning on us through corona pandemic.

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