My Parents, My Solace

My mom and dad are my heroes. My dad is my inspiration, and my mom is my best friend. They never let me down and they are always there for me. They both know that nothing could change the way they are. They also know when to tell me if I am doing something wrong, which is a huge plus. Life without parental support can be a disaster. My Parents are one of the most amazing people you can find around the world for all the sacrifices they made for me. They help me with every step of my life. They never turned me down or made excuses about it. They are sweet and lovely. I thank Allah for such a great gift.

Parents are the closest people that we have in our lives, whether we realize it or not. They love us not because we are smart, beautiful, successful or we have a good sense of humour, but just because we are their children. I, too, love mom and dad simply because they are my lovely parents. I love who they are as people, each with their own individual traits and together.

My mother is a cheerful, chatty perfectionist. My father is quiet, patient and calm, and he has an adorable hit-and-miss sense of humour. He almost never gets angry and he is always polite, friendly and nice to everyone. He is not the one to verbalize emotions, but he always shows his feelings through sweet gestures and little surprises. He is the pacifist in our family and never goes against mom’s wishes. I love my father for all these characteristics and for all he’s sacrificed to build a better life for us. I love him because he’s taught me that you cannot have it all in life, but with hard work and dedication, you can have what matters most to you.

Together, they taught me to believe in myself. Their care and dedication towards me and each other has served as an example of what healthy relationships should be like, and I love and admire them for that. They are my good friends, my heroes, my role models, my safe heaven, my pillars of strength. I am who I am today thanks to them, and I know that their support and affection will play an essential role in what I will become in future.

When asked about the people who taught us the most, who were there for us through hardships, who laughed with us during the good times, who put up with us on our off days, most of us think immediately of our parents. And it is true: our parents are the ones who have been with us through almost everything in our lives. Our mothers carry us for nine grueling months before we are born.

Unfortunately, however, many people do not treat their parents in the manner they deserve. Teenagers fight relentlessly with their parents, often over extremely trivial topics.  As we get older, we tend to forget that our parents are growing older as well, and they are pushed aside to living on their own. Allah has commanded us to treat our parents with utmost respect, no matter the situation we are in.

Respecting parents is one of the most significant aspects of Islam. Allah says in the Quran:

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. (17:23)

 The first decree in this verse is to worship none but Allah. This is the first and most important pillar of Islam, and enjoining partners with Allah is the only unforgivable sin. The order right after this is kindness to parents. There are other major sins in Islam that could have been mentioned here, but the one Allah has forbidden us against here is disrespect to parents. We are told not to speak contemptuously to them: the word given in Arabic is “uff” and even this simple groan of scorn is forbidden. Instead, Allah has told us to address them with honor and deference.

The next verse tells us: “And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood’” (17:24). The phrase “lower to them the wing of humility” has been interpreted as an image of the way birds spread their wings out of protection and love for their young. Our treatment of our parents is shown in the same way: we should be humble, respectful, and loving towards them.

Moreover, the prayer in this verse (“My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood”) is extremely powerful, and many scholars say that Muslims should say this after every prayer. It is truly a beautiful prayer, as we are asking Allah to bestow mercy on our parents, as they were merciful to us when we were young.

Our indebtedness to our parents is so immense that it is not possible to repay it fully. In lieu of this, it becomes obligatory for us to show the utmost kindness, respect, and obedience to our parents. The position of parents, and the mutual obligations and responsibilities, have been addressed in Islam in great detail. The Qur’anic commandments, as well as the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) guide us in this matter. The parent-child code of behavior in Islam is unique, since rules were laid down by divine command.

References to parents have been made at least 15 times in the Holy Qur’an. There are numerous traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) on this subject.

“And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents. In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in two years was his weaning. Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is thy final goal.” (Quran 31:14)

Besides, if you notice well, our parents are always there for us no matter what. Even when we do mistakes; they see us though the good and the bad and provide a listening ear and sound advice without giving up on us.

I believe there are many reasons why we should never draw a deaf ear towards our parents, but it’s important to know that our parents are the only people with our best interest at heart, and thus respecting them is one way to show our gratitude.

While we should obviously respect both our parents, our mothers are given special treatment in Islam. This is because our mothers carried us for nine months, and were our primary caregivers when we were children. In one saying of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), a companion asked him who deserves the most good treatment and respect. The Prophet (PBUH) replied, “Your mother.” The companion asked again, and again the reply was “Your mother.” The companion asked a third time, and once more the Prophet (PBUH) said, “Your mother.” When the companion asked for the last time, the Prophet (PBUH) then answered, “Your father.”

Our mothers deserve the utmost respect and good treatment, and there is no excuse otherwise. We are told this three times over. In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said that paradise lies under the feet of the mother. This further reiterates the fact that our mothers are to be the most revered and cared for people in our lives. Lastly, it is always important to remember to pray for our parents. We have been told that several people’s prayers will always be answered, and among these is the child’s prayer for their parents.

Dear parents, I have let so many years pass without thanking you both. But you haven’t let a single second pass without loving me unconditionally. I have never taken any compliments to heart because deep down inside I know that all of them actually belong to you both. Thanks for everything. You sacrificed your own happiness, just so that I could be happy. It may take a lifetime, but I’ll do everything to repay for what you have done for me .I have no words to acknowledge the sacrifices you made and the dreams you had to let go, just to give me a shot at achieving mine. Nothing in my life, would have been without your strife. Nothing I can say, can ever truly convey. Nothing that I do, can show my gratitude for you. Mom and dad you are, the best parents by far.

I am proud to have a dad who is worthy of being called a good father and a mom who is undoubtedly the world’’s best mother.

May Allah help us all to be more respectful to our parents. Aamen (Aamirmalik6053@gmail.com)