Come 2020, and we see that this year doesnot have good news to offer. We are definitely living in difficult times. Termslike travel history, social distancing, covidiots are spread over the contentsof print and electronic media, social networking platforms and hilarious memesare invented on a regular basis. Restrictions are of course restrictive but,social distancing for Kashmiris is actually a challenge! As Kashmiris, we arephysically demonstrative people. We meet and greet very warmly. When our grandmothers meet our friends, they go out all on an emotionally charged spree. Theywill hug you so tight that your rib cage is altered and your face will besmeared by their salivating kisses. An old friend of your mom’s will meet youfor the first time as if she is by default your bestie too. She will reminisceabout her college days and narrate all details, all this while holding yourmother’s hand in one and holding you close to her with the other. Brevitydoesn’t come easily to us. Though it is heart-warming, we are not faced withsuch emotional extravaganza outside. And imagine we have to practice socialdistancing! In fact, even today the social distancing norms seem to be ignoredin the rural sectors to a great extent. The urban areas are already socially,emotionally, financially way too distant as compared to the cohesive ruralones. There are visible differences between life in gaam, mohallas andcolonies! But the need of the hour is such that we have to do it for the commongood.
So we are locked inside and though theinternet speed is again “restricted”, it is not conspicuous by its absence.Social distancing of course is not distancing us from social media. We find allthese celebrities chopping vegetables, teaching us how to sanitize groceries,cleaning homes rigorously, painting away beautifully, entertaining us with tiktok videos, hair dressing, and almost all of them turning into master chefsnow! I suppose like me many might wonder at the multi-talented nature of theseTV artistes; I mean how come people can be good at so many things! But thenyeah, who goes for tasting the stuff they make! I also wonder how they havethose exotic ingredients at disposal for their exotic recipes! Cynics aside,what needs to be taken here is that they are keeping themselves busy! They aretraining their minds to not feel restricted and trying out things that normallyour very busy routines do not allow us to do. So what they try to do is, thatthey are finding escape in these restrictions and thus these restrictions inturn become liberating for them.
At the advent of this infectious disease,people did not realize the severity of the situation. I once heard a copassenger in the cab say, “Hey! Keashrian na sa posh ne…ye gov nibriman mulkanmanzi.. yor yii ne kihn” (This won’t reach us Kashmiris. This disease will berestricted to foreigners). Hilarious,I thought! Call it over confidence or denial. People were not ready to absorbthe gravity of the situation. As progressively people were discovered tocarrying this infection, the situation got panicky. People predicted the worldwas getting over, this was a way of Almighty’s wrath, and many conjectures aboutthe impending doom of people immersed in extravaganza and religiousindiscipline. When there is an overall sense of negativity in people, there isalso an associated hopelessness. Resultantly, people start developingpsycho-social issues. I hear grievances ranging from insomnia, disturbed sleeppatterns, nightmares, excessive sleep, lack of appetite, binge eating, lack ofgeneral interest in life, anxiety issues and so much more. Even a heavier thannormal rainfall or thundering scares them beyond bounds and leads them to aquagmire of negativity.
All kinds of persons fall in this psychosocial malfunction. I hear it from students, employees, home makers andchildren in varying degrees. Some prefer to stay aloof and some are scared tostay alone at all. We have different means of coping to this on-going crisisand as such there is no universal solution to it. I believe that the routine oflives that we normally resent is actually what we are missing right now. Likeweekends are normally reserved for sleeping late and sleeping till late, thesame tendencies are being developed in these quarantine times. Watching theinsta celebs in their lounge wear gives people the sense that that is theglamorous way to be. Most of us are working from homes and I think suchdressing practices add to the informality and indiscipline in our lives. Ifthat were acceptable, we would be going to our work places like that normallytoo. The point here is that we are getting accustomed to skip out certainhabits that help us formalize ourselves and even make us happy. Drab clothes isactually adding to laziness. Personal grooming has taken a back seat and theconsequent confidence and happiness associated with it is getting affected.
Isolation does not mean that you stopopening the doors and windows of your house or you cannot have a walk in yourlawn. Fresh air freshens your mind. It recycles your soul, kills the lazycells, makes you think nice things and makes you hopeful. In this lockdown,nature is healing and has the power of healing! Nature helps you become selfaware. You discover vivid colors that you have not seen before, birds withlovely plumage, insects at work, and calming sounds that soothe your soul. Youdevelop a perspective and sense of acceptance when you are close to nature andgrow with it.
In these times, when you have only yourimmediate family members who are physically around you, we have been given anopportune time to work on familial ties that have become distant. Strainedrelations with parents and siblings that have developed due to some or theother reason, can be mended. Use time to have conversations with them. Listenand benefit from their experiences about life. Take out time to cook and sharemeals with them. Reach out and communicate meaningfully with your siblings. Youwill again find the innocence of your childhood days.
These times are also helping you in cuttingdown on meeting negative people and compulsive criticizers. There are fewerpeople you need to prove points or justify yourselves to. This is anopportunity to be creative and imaginative without fear of judgment. Aninnovation competition to combat this crisis already been announced. You arealready helping by staying indoors. You can help more by your productive ideas!You could try out Do It Yourself (DIY) projects and beautify your home spaces!DIY projects with kids is special because their excitement is infectious andgives you a feel good factor. Please leave that sofa, jhoola or cushion. Get upand get going. Your incessant sleeping is making you unhealthy. Work with yourhands. Write away your feelings in a journal and scrub away the rust on yoursoul!
In some cases, some psycho-social issuesmight have already been there and this situation might have added to thetrouble. There are many options available that you can approach for help.Examples would be online psycho-social clinics and counsellors who volunteer tohelp on call. Many kind people and institutions are voluntarily coming forwardto do so, for case based psycho-social intervention.Sometimes self-help you tube videos might also help. Never hesitate to ask forhelp if you feel the situation is slipping out of hands. Mostly, just ventingyour thoughts and feelings would help in lessening your burden. Please keep in mindthat your psycho-social issues would not be cured by popping tablets and thingswould return to normal. If you are anyway advised popping tablets (decided oncase to case basis), understand that things are not normal and they alone arenot a guarantee that your problem is solved. Treatment plans are extensive, mayalso require therapy and ventilation exercises. It requires sincerity,patience, will, cooperation and hard work on your end to enhance your copingwith the internal and external environments. Trying to laugh whole heartedly,living in the moment, feeling the present, not being too anxious about thefuture, reducing feelings of guilt, not imprisoning yourself in theexpectational prism of others, giving your self importance and spending more timewith kids, are some ways of enhancing well being.
Alhumdullilah, the blessed month will behere shortly. How many of us have lamented about the lack of time and space forproper remembrance of the Almighty before? It is time to seize the opportunity and purify our souls. Prayer helpsus get rid of our vices, make us forgive more and hate less, listen more andtalk less, accept more and blame less, rise our humility and help in rejectingarrogance, and relive stress by relying on Almighty.
May we all prosper and cope with thissuccessfully with the help of Almighty. Amen.
Amira Wali is a college teacher