It has been rightly said ‘Home is where the heart is.’ Actually, this is an old maxim attributed to a Roman author, Plinny the Elder. Home is where we are from; where we are long to be at; and where we think of when we are away from it.
It is the ultimate refuge that all of us seek to achieve in our lifetime and fortunate are the ones who have it naturally or by default or by legitimate ways.
There is no other place like home in the world. Its comfort is unmatched even when you look at the luxury of Mansa Musa of Mali…. And that is why home is often compared with edifice and temple like notions.
Home is not only comfort, but it is an identity of our true self, cherished by our priceless memories. The importance of having a home can be understood from the very fact that whenever we are introduced to someone the first question inquired after our name is the address at which we live. In case, we apply for a job, passport, ID card, SSN card, Aadhaar card etc. is a must to disclose home address. It doesn’t matter whether we live in a rented house or an owned house, big or small; the four walls of a home endure us in all circumstances, bear our nuisances, and conceal our pure and adulterated self.
Precisely, the existence of a home makes journey of human life from birth to death hassle free. In fact, it’s urge of every living thing to have its own resting place, the home. Birds settle on trees whereas animals settle in jungles and insects witty enough conquer all the habitats around the planet to get a home for themselves. However, despite being animals, they are generous enough not to eye on displacing others in pursuit of settling themselves.
On the contrary, humans’ narcissistic face is hideous to behold. His true self does not let him contend with what he holds rather surveil on what others hold , ergo, he is stripped of simple choices in life that create a peaceful mind.
Society comes next to home where children are socialized into gender norms, values and stereotypes. Here emerges the gender bias and the idea flourishes that boys are preferable to girls. It is fuelled by a belief that girls will eventually be married off and imparting training about daily chores at home is considered by the society of more value to her future. The gender bias gives boys a free hand as they are perceived more valuable and worthy even if they are worthless and penniless. Society puts the boy as head of the family, no matter how headless and dishonest he is in his daily affairs vis-à-vis the family. The teachings that a girls’ real home is her husband’s home is deeply ingrained in her right from her birth .The girl whole heartedly accepts this doctrine of frustration without any complaint, while she keeps dreaming silently about her husband’s home as her real home. However, her true love for her home never gets blighted even if she finds Anatilla for herself.
The moment girl gets married her parental house becomes an illegal occupancy for her, the repositioning to her husband’s home, which now she thinks her real home, soon comes to her dismay when she realizes that she is just an immigrant living in another makeshift house.
Loss of home, her fondest illusion she had carried so secretly is shattered in the dust when she is casted out from the paradise and thus there is no point of return for her to her first universe.
Home is not concoction of four walls and concrete. Home is neither holding its legal rights. The notion of a home, of course, holds the proof of the moss covered memories, dabbling in streams of old affection.
Home is where you live without any shades of fear, shame or guilt. Home is not where you constantly struggle to make others happy, like trying to decode computer or any Latin language, but home is where you are happy. The ultimate lesson a home teaches is sharing and accommodating even the alien-like creepy crawlies, who were here on earth long before humans, and they are here to stay for all times.
Home is certainly not about to claim. In fact, it’s all about love and love is what an immigrant girl would proclaim for all times to come.
(Author is Srinagar based Journalist.)