The Chronicles of Fearnia

I was once binge watching the cinematic version of my favorite book on the imaginary town of Malgudi. It was refreshing to see the innocence and simplicity of Swami and his friends. I carried on, till there was this episode about a watchman working in an insurance office receiving a registered letter by post. The watchman asked the postman whether registered letters were sent by lawyers. The post man replied in the affirmative. The watchman was skeptical to take the letter and thus began his distress. He peered on the envelope imagining all sorts of disasters waiting therein but was not willing to open the envelope and read it. Someone informed him that an X Ray scan could tell him what was inside and he took the letter for an X-ray but of course that would not serve the purpose. Such was the plight of this watchman that he let go off his talent of clay modeling and convinced himself that he had gone berserk to have taken up such a task. He acted crazy all the time and at all places. One day, while busy in his craziness, he met one employee from his office and he was told about the award money cheque sent to his address by registered post, as a token of appreciation for the clay model of his office that he had built. The registered letter was not a bad news after all!

This led me thinking. We humans are such scared creatures.But what is the cause of this fear? The fear of the ghosts in childhood, fearof darkness, fear of exams in schools and fear of results, fear of learning andthen fear of unlearning – fear of the unknown. This fear is so consuming on alllevels. It murders your interests, appetites and sense of self. We all are soerroneous and fallible as humans, then why do we fear making mistakes? Can weotherwise claim perfection in any case? Of course not.

   

Recently, in one of my counseling sessions in a school, astudent came up to me and told me that she used to feel very confident lastyear but even when her grades are good presently, her confidence level isfalling. I probed her more and inferred that she was very stressed about herfuture. Imagine a girl so young who should have been bubbling with energy,looking gloomy and disheartened. My heart went out to her. And to all theothers who are not able to enjoy the most precious years of childhood as theyare busy worrying about their tomorrows. Is it fair that the vibrancy of theseflowers should be crumbled under our expectations? Is high school performance apredictor of life achievements? Is the happiness of a doctor/engineer/civilservant guaranteed? I doubt. So why worry? Are you sure about the number ofyears available to you to give in to worry and negativity? Is all this worrynot going to affect your mental and physical health adversely? Yes, itinvariably would.

We need to revisit our approach to schooling and ourdefinition of achievements. Let us start with facing our fears. As the clichégoes darr k aagey jeet hai! Certain do’s can help us here-

Do not fear making mistakes.

Do not fear judgment.

Do not fear criticism.

Do not live in guilt.

Play deaf ears on people’s expectations from you, especiallywhen you hear these two phrases, “Crucial year” and “Deciding year”. It doesnot make sense attributing these phrases to matriculation, 12th or the year ofentrances. Every year is going to be crucial in its own way, even the year whenyou are not enrolled in any institution, or are looking for work, or are in theprocess of switching jobs. In fact, do we realize how crucial year is the yearof superannuation for any person, or the year of motherhood? The funny thingabout expectations is, they burden you only till the time you take it uponyourself to appease and confirm to them. Do not give them too much importance.They should give your work a direction, but they must not direct you! Ultimately,the only person you are answerable to is your own conscience.

The whole point here is, stop fearing like the watchman whocould not enjoy a duly deserved award. Don’t put in morose colors in the canvasof your life. It is not worth it. Stop telling your children about khokhs andbudda babas and introducing them to the concept of fear. Do not kill yourchild’s happiness by making exams and marks his defining achievements. Instead,the way is to put in efforts for a thorough understanding of basics so that youenjoy the contents of your study. There is no burden greater than being forcedto sit on books in front of your eyes that you do not understand. That willinstill another kind of fear-the fear of books! Let us not make monsters out ofthese well-meaning friends who really want to help us but we do not allow themto do so!

Put in sincere efforts. That is the prime responsibility ofa teacher and student alike. Trust God to take care of the rest. Allah is themaster planner for our livelihood and His decision will prevail. It makes senseof fearing and pleasing Him rather than any other human being, who is aspowerless in this regard as we are.

Let us unlearn the concept of fear. If there are people whomay be disappointed temporarily since you did not do what they wanted you todo, it does not matter! If people laugh at your ideas, who cares? Careers are alife-long sequence and do not have a fixed starting and end point. We candesign it on the basis of our interest and needs. Let fear not stop us from realizingour potential and let it not camouflage our designs! Let us be happy people! Iam sure we can give that much to ourselves.

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