Kashmir Women’s Collective came to know about three girl children and a new born boy who were abandoned by people soon after birth in Lal Ded hospital, government maternity hospital in Srinagar, only this week. Lal Ded won’t be pleased that this is happening in the hospital named after her.
Some members of KWC went to the hospital, spoke to the Head and even went to the concerned Police station. Both confirmed that last year around 17-20 children were abandoned, mostly girl children. Our analysis shows that three are a few reasons for the issue:
A. Female infanticide: Many people think of girl children as a burden and if they have a few girls already, they don’t want another girl. Some even resort to pre-natal sex determination and abort the child if it is a girl and this is happening in the state despite their being PCPNDT Act of 1994 that prevents doctors from screening the sex of the foetus. Even then it is done and if sometimes it isn’t possible, people do not hesitate throwing their girls away. A mother will rarely not want her child. It is under family pressure that this is done. Society that still prefers male children should be ashamed of itself. The practice of being upset on the birth of girl child is still not uncommon in our society. We as people need to change our attitude towards girls and women.
B. Children born out of wedlock: There are cases in which men and women to satisfy themselves physically have pre-marital sex (that too unsafe) due to which they not just punish each other but spoil a new born’s life. Imagine the condition of an unwed mother for nine months and the abuse she faces at the hands of her family. In many such cases, abortions are done before the actual delivery but sometimes the woman comes to know after 3 months about pregnancy in which scenario abortion is not possible. Due to ignorance and a scare, she understands that she’s pregnant only when it is impossible to abort. And as a result not only her life but a new born’s life is destroyed. Men who impregnate women easily escape the situation by denying that they have fathered children. Avoiding premarital sex is a must, especially for people who claim to be religious. Knowledge about safe sex is also important. Even after marriage, women are not aware that they can get sexually transmitted disease from their husbands who may have sex outside of marriage and the choice of the number of children to keep is also denied to mothers. For momentary pleasure, sacrificing young children is inhumane. In Pakistan there’s an organisation that was run by Edhi which adopts abandoned children. Some people oppose such adoptions calling them ‘haram’. What is haram ? Something that’s prohibited. A relation can be haram, an association can be, an act can be but a human being can not be called and shunned for being haram. If Allah forbids premarital sex, we believe that Allah hates throwing away a newborn to be fed to dogs.
C. Sexual Abuse: A recent case that our collective came to know was of a child born to a young girl after a prolonged abuse by her own close relative in Srinagar. Please do not be shocked. Sexual abuse is a reality and people very close to you, very often, are the primary abusers. That’s why it is important to keep our children safe and not to leave them alone with just one male, how close the relation may be. Brother, cousin, neighbour or whoever. This young girl was complaining of tummy ache and in the hospital she delivered a child!
Sexual abuse can lead to unwanted pregnancies which result in throwing away the child as happened in this case. The victim is mostly silent, shy, scared and doesn’t know who to approach. That’s why we have been suggesting government to have a professionally run helpline to deal with such confidential issues faced by women. We at KWC are also trying to establish one but it will take a while due to lack of support and resources. Helpline is not about giving away one landline number and saying this is helpline! Helpline means a lot : it means creating a data bank, having trained counsellors, having round the clock employees in shifts, have liason with doctors, having cooperation of police and approach to judiciary. No single organisation, government or nongovernmental can claim to have such a helpline in Kashmir to help women.
We at KWC appeal society to be aware of sexual abuse, have knowledge of safe sex and also shun the practice of discriminating between girls and boys and be better practising Muslims who will avoid premarital sex and at the same time won’t discriminate on the basis of gender between children and won’t at least abandon girl children or children born out of abuse or premarital relation.
This is an area where work is needed, like all social areas in Kashmir that stand neglected. Why? Because we eat, drink and sleep only politics. Please wake up before it is too late.
The silver lining in all this is that when KWC members approached court, they realised that some childless couples have filed applications to adopt these children. At least 10 couple have filed applications to adopt recently abandoned three girls and one boy. One couple is personally known to us. We are delighted that if on one side we have beasts who leave children in dustbins to be eaten by dogs, we have human being who are willing to hug these babies who the larger society leaves abandoned.