Parents, please take note. A new survey shows that parentsare often the obstacle in teenagers becoming self-sufficient.
“Our study suggests parents aren’t letting go of thereins as often as they should to help teens make that transition. This processof transition from childhood to adulthood includes everything, from preparingfor work and financial responsibility to taking care of one’s health andwell-being,” said Sarah Clark from the University of Michigan, the UK.
According to Bhagat Rajput, consultant, psychiatry, ManipalHospital in Delhi, independence is essential for children’s growth, but mostlyit’s the generation gap between the children and the parents that acts as abarrier.
“This gap is visible because each of them grows up intwo separate historical time and culture, impacting the views, value andtastes. The barrier can be minimised with parents acting as guides toadolescents and increasing communication and understanding in therelationship,” Rajput told IANS.
Struggling for personal independence, 23-year-oldDelhi-based Muskan, said: “Parents putting barriers at every step harmsmore than it helps. This is the time when we are trying to build our ownidentity and want to make our own mistakes. Parents think they’re advising orhelping us, but too much interference only makes us rebel.”
The researchers recommend parents to position themselves asa backup resource, to be consulted only if the teen can’t handle the issueindependently.
Parents should also establish specific milestones and createopportunities to mentor their teens in gaining experience and confidence whilereaching those goals, they said.
According to researchers, one quarter of the parentssurveyed admit they are the main barrier to their teen’s independence as theydon’t take the time or make effort to give them more responsibility.
The report was based on responses of 877 parents from the UKwith at least one child aged 14-18 years.
Researchers also stated that 60 per cent of the respondentssaid their teens’ characteristics were barriers to becoming independent, suchas not being mature enough (24 per cent), not having time (22 per cent) or notknowing enough (14 per cent) to take more responsibility.
In contrast, one quarter of the parents admitted that theirrole in impeding their teen’s independence, saying it’s quicker and less hassleto do things themselves (19 per cent) or they don’t think about how to giveteens more responsibility (7 per cent).
“Parenting is about learning to care and control in theright measure. Autonomy for young people is important for development of theiridentity. But autonomy has to be within a safety framework,” Achal Bhagat,senior consultant, psychiatry, Indraprastha Apollo Hospitals, told IANS.