Life is beautiful and suicides are meaningless.

Life is beautiful and suicides are meaningless.
Representational Pic

Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among young people but it is preventable. Worldwide day against suicides is observed on September 10. As per various authors around the world, suicide is defined as the intentional taking of one’s own life.

There can be many reasons. Before I start giving you some main causes, let me say this. As a society we have to re-evaluate our man made beliefs that lead to ill-conceived perception of failure and success.

For some parents becoming a doctor or engineer is success while qualifying other examinations is not, for some getting government job is success but a more responsible job in private sector is not success, for some having a big bungalow is success while having a small house with healthy members is not success, for some marrying a rich lad with government job and looks of Salman or Ranvir is success while marrying a lad with good character and decent income is not success, for someone marrying a wealthy girl with beautiful looks and highly paid government job is success, while marrying a middle class hard working self-made girl is not success.

Our children from one generation to another generation are programmed to think that this is success, soft and hard ware installation of this type in children is further influenced by society and people we interact with on a daily basis.

I do not blame parents as their minds were programmed in a similar manner. And another type of software is programmed in children that wealthy parents who secure government jobs for us without working hard are successful parents, and not those parents who are honest, caring but do not have abundance of money are not successful parents.

And the worst part is then DENIAL on part of our society, saying this does not happen in our place. Coming to the main topic, due to the medical advances in early 2000s, suicidal behaviour is now regarded and responded to as a psychiatric emergency.

National major causes will look surprising to Kashmiris like, bankruptcy and failure of farmers to pay debts. According to research done in Kashmir on subject of suicide, most common causes are Untreated Psychotic Disorders (Like Schizophrenia-no contact with reality, space, position, orientation etc.) or untreated Depression (as people lose total hope of future, nor feel interest in life, feel miserable, alone and pathetic all the time), untreated drug abuse and domestic violence are other major causes.

Nowadays a new phenomenon is adding to our woes, some persons also known as "FACEBOOK JOURNALISTS running various pages put videos of a person committing suicides, and then these are shared on Whatsapp etc. No one asks them when you were making video of these suicides, was not it better to stop that person from committing suicide? This type of sharing of videos can give rise to "COPYCAT SUICIDES" when another person might be influenced to commit suicides.

Another cause is reactive depression which is caused by failure in examinations, teenage love affairs and domestic violence has become common in Kashmir.

People in the agriculture sector must put insecticides under lock. Although it is always recommended to visit a psychiatrist even if somebody just casually says that the person will commit suicide, still counselors should ask the person the following question, but counselors should be NON-JUDGMENTAL.

1. Why does he or she want to die?

2. Presence of psychiatric or organic factors that is psychotic depression, thought disorder, sedative self-medications (Librosar being common in Kashmir).

3. Determine the role of impulsivity in young person’s (Parents, School teachers to be alert)

4. Discuss recent loss of self-esteem (examination failures) or loss of job or death of a close person.

Individual risk factors

Sense of hopelessness (major depression), loneliness, alcoholism and drug addiction increases risk by manifolds, Schizophrenia or in lay man’s language insane person, especially when lonely, depressed, with self-destructive command hallucinations- that is the patient of Schizophrenia hearing or seeing a holy person or angel or a ghost asking him to commit suicide and impaired impulse control for any other reason in teenagers.

Treatment Principles

Every month has four Fridays; let our respected Imams reserve one Friday every month for practical sermons on suicides and domestic violence, which means at least 12 Fridays every year without a break, same is requested to Pujaris and other priests.

2. Every high school, college and other educational institutions should have a full time counsellor that can detect personality disorders and other ailments at a very young age.

3. Need for qualified counselors is also a must for other departments like banks, army and police. The counselors should be there practically rather than papers.

4. Awareness programmes on all mental health diseases are a must for all institutions from colleges to banks.

5. We should allow people to express anger, unacceptable thoughts, and feelings of rejection and hopelessness with counsellors or parents. Don’t label them.

6. In a friend circle never ever agree to hold suicide plan in confidence.7. Involve the family and significant others in treatment, try to reduce isolation and withdrawal.

And lastly for those who want to commit suicide, one request. Just look at an example of a boy who committed suicide after he failed in an examination, but latter it was known he secured highest grade and declaring him failed was a clerical mistake.

Life is like that. God’s plans are unique; we sometimes don’t get what we desire because what we had desired for was less, and God wanted us to give more.

Rather than becoming ordinary by committing suicides we can become great by fighting difficult times. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Amitabh Bachan all had initial failures. The list is endless. Now look at what they have achieved…!!!

As my article is not dedicated to statistics but digs into emotional causes, I will write about this aspect also.

As I wrote earlier we often define success in life only through the prism of our financial position, and career.

As can be seen it is a narrow vision. Unfortunately we run after such success and ultimately get stressed, depressed. That creates a vicious cycle of stress, pain, anxiety, family break ups, personal and relational disintegrations, the destruction of the environment and planetary and climatic imbalances.

As a consequence, we feel empty. Reaching fame, financial strength, the power of a visible position, and reaching it with a broken soul, broken up family and a sick body, causes depression or leads to drug addiction which explains why, in the last 30 years, even famous people have ended up committing suicides.

Author can be mailed at : arifmaghribi@yahoo.com

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