Parenting amid Corona crisis

A few days back, a local station of FM radio channel aired a live chat show in which listeners were dishing out their experiences, particularly their tales of miseries, amid the coronavirus induced shutdowns. A young mind while introducing himself as a BTech student narrated his family’s woeful financial tale. He shared that his father, a TATA sumo driver and the only bread-earner of his family, lost his income to the lockdown. During the course, the family, which has been putting up in a rented accommodation, wiped out almost all savings to keep their kitchen running and meet other essentials during the Covid-induced crisis. Now the situation, as narrated by the BTech student, has taken worst turn as their landlord has been pressing hard for payment of rent, which the family has been unable to pay for the past five months owing to zero income since the pandemic forced shutdown of all economic activities. They have been asked to vacate the accommodation.

While narrating the plight of his family, the stress on the young student was audible and was helplessly pleading to the anchor of the show to pitch for rescue plan for his family by advocating, at least, deferring of payment of rent, if not waiver, till the family’s income stream is restored. Even as the story of this student reveals other dimensions of the ongoing lockdown, I would like to emphasize on the deteriorating state of mind of the young ones who have been forced to divert their thinking abilities to a situation which breeds stress and ultimately the depression. The lockdown enforced to halt the spread of covid-19 infection among other adverse things is loaded with a strong tendency to trigger mental health issues in children and young ones.

   

In other words, parenting is now loaded with huge challenge of protecting their children not only against the direct contact of the virus, but also insulating them against the impact of socio-economic miseries which this deadly infection has unleashed.

Before deliberating upon the challenges of compounding responsibilities of parenting thrown by covid-19 crisis, let’s first understand that Kashmiri children are accustomed to lasting physical, mental, and emotional harm owing to the violent situation prevailing here for the past few decades. Whether the child is a direct victim or a witness, adverse impact of violence has always been inevitable. It has been a routine for most of the Kashmiri parents to encounter regressive behavior, anxiety, depression, aggression and conduct problems in their children.

This means parenting has never been a child’s play here. Leaving political dimensions of the situation aside, consistent financial support is inevitable in parenting. Here the parents have mostly been struggling to secure future of their children amid spike in cost of living – cost of maintaining a certain standard of living.

Now coming back to the lockdown induced challenges confronting parents while dealing with children and young ones. The lockdown has compounded the challenges and is leading to increase in depressive tendencies. An acquaintance, who is a psychiatrist and treats psychiatric-emergency patients, says that five years ago, depression was fifth or sixth in diseases that contributed to the global disease burden, now it is second only to heart disease, adding that it affects as many as around 20 per cent of the global population.

While listening further to some of the specialists in the field, it becomes evident that children and young ones are becoming victims to acute stress and depression. In fact, the prolonged lockdown has created a fertile ground for the disease to bring down young ones with mental disabilities. Precisely, lockdown has created isolation creating a situation where people, especially the children and young ones are feeling isolated, which is a risk factor as social interaction helps people cope with situations.

Precisely, the family life is undergoing tremendous change because of the covid-19 pandemic. The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization estimates 1·38 billion children are out of school or child care, without access to group activities, team sports, or playgrounds. And, we don’t need a rocket science to estimate the impact of economic lockdown. A cursory look at the scenario around us is enough to pick miseries which the shutdown has brought to the people and its bearing on the minds of young ones.

So, for parents, this is a stressful time. It’s utmost important for them to take care of themselves, so that they can support their children.  Evidence shows that violence and vulnerability increase for children during periods of school closures associated with health emergencies. In this situation, both parents and children live with increased stress, challenging tolerance and long-term thinking capacity. And, the economic impact of the crisis increases parenting stress and violence against children.

Let me reproduce some handy tips for parents issue by the UNICEF at a time the coronavirus pandemic has upended family life around the world.

Don’t hesitate to talk about COVID-19: Be willing to talk. They will already have heard something. Silence and secrets do not protect our children. Honesty and openness do. Think about how much they will understand. You know them best.

Be open and listen: Allow your child to talk freely. Ask them open questions and find out how much they already know.

Be honest: Always answer their questions truthfully. Think about how old your child is and how much they can understand.

Be supportive: Your child may be scared or confused. Give them space to share how they are feeling and let them know you are there for them.

One-on-one time during COVID-19: School shutdown is also a chance to make better relationships with our children and teenagers. One-on-One time is free and fun. It makes children feel loved and secure, and shows them that they are important.

Keeping it positive: It’s hard to feel positive when our kids or teenagers are driving us crazy. We often end up saying “Stop doing that!”. But children are much more likely to do what we ask if we give them positive instructions and lots of praise for what they do right. Use positive words when telling your child what to do; like “Please put your clothes away” (instead of “Don’t make a mess”).

Shouting at your child will just make you and them more stressed and angrier. Speak in a calm voice.

Try praising your child or teenager for something they have done well. They may not show it, but you’ll see them doing that good thing again. It will also reassure them that you notice and care.

Help your teen stay connected: Teens especially need to be able to communicate with their friends. Help your teen connect through social media and other safe distancing ways. This is something you can do together, too!

Keeping children safe online: Children and teens are now spending a lot more time online. Being connected helps them reduce the impact of COVID-19 and encourages them to continue with their lives…but it also presents risks and dangers.

Family harmony at home: When we model peaceful and loving relationships, our children feel more secure and loved. Positive language, active listening and empathy help maintain a peaceful and happy family environment during these stressful times.

Bad behavior: All children misbehave. It is normal when children are tired, hungry, afraid, or learning independence. And they can drive us crazy when stuck at home. Catch bad behavior early and redirect your kids’ attention from a bad to a good behavior. Stop it before it starts! When they start to get restless, you can distract with something interesting or fun: “Come, let’s play a game together!”

In succinct, parents are loaded with additional responsibilities and need to utilise effective strategies to respond, care and protect their children from the ills of this unprecedented health emergency.

(The views are of the author & not the institution he works for)

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