National Award-winning actor Zaira Wasim on Sunday announced her “disassociation” from the field of acting, saying she was not happy with the line of work as it interfered with her faith and religion.
In a detailed post on her Facebook page, which she latershared across all social media platforms, the Kashmiri-born “Dangal”fame star said she realised “though I may fit here perfectly, I do notbelong here”.
“Five years ago I made a decision that changed my lifeforever. As I stepped my foot in Bollywood, it opened doors of massivepopularity for me. I started to become the prime candidate of public attention,I was projected as the gospel of the idea of success and was often identifiedas a role model for the youth.
“However, that’s never something that I set out to door become, especially with regards to my ideas of success and failure, which Ihad just started to explore and understand,” Wasim said in the lengthypost.
The 18-year-old actor said as she completed five years inthe profession, she wanted to “confess that I am not truly happy with thisidentity i.E my line of work”.
“For a very long time now it has felt like I havestruggled to become someone else. As I had just started to explore and makesense of the things to which I dedicated my time, efforts and emotions andtried to grab hold of a new lifestyle, it was only for me to realise thatthough I may fit here perfectly, I do not belong here.
“This field indeed brought a lot of love, support, andapplause my way, but what it also did was to lead me to a path of ignorance, asI silently and unconsciously transitioned out of ‘imaan’ (faith). While Icontinued to work in an environment that consistently interfered with my’imaan’, my relationship with my religion was threatened,” she said.
Wasim said as she continued to “ignorantly passthrough” while trying to convince herself that what she was doing was okayand was not really affecting her, “I lost all the ‘Barakah’ (blessing)from my life”.
“I was constantly battling with my soul to reconcile mythoughts and instincts to fix a static picture of my ‘imaan’ and I failedmiserably, not just once but a hundred times…
“I kept procrastinating by tricking and deluding myconscience into the idea that I know what I am doing doesn’t feel right butassumed that I will put an end to this whenever the time feels right and Icontinued to put myself in a vulnerable position where it was always so easy tosuccumb to the environment that damaged my peace, ‘imaan’ and my relationshipwith Allah (God),” she said.
Talking about her life as an actor, she said she continuedto observe things and twist her perceptions as she wanted them to be, withoutreally understanding that the key was to see them as they were.
“In the great and divine wisdom of the Quran, I foundsufficiency and peace. Indeed the hearts find peace when it acquires theknowledge of Its Creator, His Attributes, His Mercy and His commandments,”she added.
Wasim said she began to heavily rely upon Allah’s mercy forhelp and guidance instead of valuing her own believability.
“I discovered my lack of knowledge of the basicfundamentals of my religion and how my inability to reinforce a change earlierwas a result of confusing my heart’s contentment and well being withstrengthening and satisfying my own (shallow and worldly) desires,” shesaid.
The actor, who made her big Bollywood debut oppositesuperstar Aamir Khan in 2016, said she questioned the deepest sources of herideas of success, meaning and the purpose of her life.
“The source code that governed and impacted myperceptions evolved into a different dimension. Success isn’t correlated withour biased, delusional and conventional shallow measures of life. Success isthe accomplishment of the purpose of our creation. We have forgotten thepurpose we were created for as we ignorantly continue to pass through ourlives; deceiving our conscience,” she said.
Wasim said the journey has been “exhausting, to battlemy soul for so long” and life was too short yet too long to be at war withoneself.
About announcing the decision on social media, the actorsaid she was openly doing so not to paint a holier picture of herself, but”this is the least I can do to start afresh”.
“This is just my first step as I have arrived at theclarity of realisation of the path I wish to be on and strive for and duringthis time I may have consciously or unconsciously planted a seed of temptationin the hearts of many, but my sincere advice to everyone is that no amount ofsuccess, fame, authority or wealth is worth trading or losing your peace or thelight of your ‘imaan’ for,” she said.
Wasim will next be seen in “The Sky is Pink”,which also stars Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Farhan Akhtar. The film completedshooting in March.