A brand new umbrella organization

Give us justice or we will steal it!
A brand new umbrella organization

The authorities having announced that it intends to crackdown on all criminal and corrupt elements in the state resulted in a panic andthe possible 'victims' of this crackdown went into a huddle. The need forforming a united front against all such proposed measures was strongly felt andprompted a hurried meeting of the various factions of the corrupt and thecriminal.

"We are the people who have suffered the most during theseyears of turmoil," the leader of the Thieves and Burglars Front stood up to voicehis grievances. "The prevailing circumstances have not only affected ourbusiness but at times we have lost limb and even life while we were honestlypursuing our dishonest vocations during the night hours. So many times thesecurity forces mistook us for militants and as a result some of our brethrenare languishing in jails. That some of them came out and became leaders is justincidental! Our business, which is of a nature that makes it necessary to becarried under the cover of darkness most of the times, has suffered a lot dueto the security scenario. We demand that we should be given compensation andrelief from the government for all the losses that we have suffered in theseyears! Where else does a thief or a burglar have to face the amount of riskthat we faced? The least the authorities could do is to provide us with a riskallowance!"

"I think we should not go on and on about our individualproblems but instead try to highlight the common scenario and unmask thenefarious designs of our detractors…" the President of the PickpocketAssociation interrupted this speech by the leader of the thieves and burglars.

"Of course there are some elements present here who havereally had a very good time since this turmoil stated. Be it the protest processionsor the rallies for or against the ruling parties, all gatherings have been agoldmine for these guys," infuriated by the interruption of his speech, theleader of the thieves and burglars launched a scathing offensive against thepickpocket president. "Why!" he continued, "the former president of thesepeople attended so many rallies that he even caught the attention of somebigwigs in a prominent political party and landed with a party ticket tocontest the election! A couple of years back he was caught red-handed trying tolighten the pocket of his own party chief but since the episode occurred whilethe assembly was in full swing, the matter was duly hushed up!"

The president of the Pickpocket Association got up and hotlycontested these allegations.

A distinguished looking elderly gent tried to pacify thewarring factions. "Brothers we must forget our petty differences and standunited at this critical juncture. I had called this meeting so that we can forma united front against all those who target our fraternity – be it the commonpickpocket or the highest standing official of the land who belongs to thefellowship of the corrupt. You must be aware of my dedication in thisdirection. I have had no less than twenty cases of corruption filed against meduring my service. Of course I always managed to escape unscathed and evenbagged a promotion every time I got myself proved 'innocent'!" Indeed theworthy fellow had very nearly reached the topmost civilian office by the timehe retired and now had a promising career as a politician to look forward to ashe was already being offered a membership by almost all the parties thatmattered!

The whole gathering broke into applause at his remarks.

"The need of the hour is to form a united front, an umbrellaorganization, against the harassment of the corrupt. Everyone from the mosthumble pickpocket to the most powerful and highly placed corrupt official mustcome forth and join hands in this stand-off against anti-corruption!" thegentleman stirred the assembly with his highly spirited speech and concluded itby shouting, "We want…?"

"Justice!" the gathering practically roared.

"We want…?" he reiterated.

"JUSTICE!" the roar was even louder this time.

"We will steal justice if we don't get it," a middle-agedfellow (a very 'resourceful' clerk in a department 'distinguished' for itsrecord of corruption!) shouted enthusiastically.

"We could demand a separate state!" a hot headed youngstersuggested. He was a recent recruit in a 'lucrative' department and wasunderstandably very emotional at the prospect of being 'victimized' by thisanti-corruption menace, that too when he had not  'harvested' even so much as the sum that hehad paid to land this job!

'That is no solution! A separate land for swindlers,thieves, pickpockets and corrupt officials! Then whom do we rob?! Whom do wefleece?!" a senior bureaucrat rejected this suggestion all the while gentlyrestraining a hand that had been rummaging in his pocket and trying to get athis well stuffed wallet.

"let's wait till elections and once a government is formedour umbrella organization will press upon it to pass a law, say something likea Disturbed Areas Act against Anti-Corruption!" the 'distinguished' gentlemansuggested, his eyes shining with excitement.

"But it requires more than two-thirds majority to pass alaw, doesn't it?!" a voice from the gathering expressed doubt.

The 'distinguished' gentleman laughed and said, "Now thatshould present no problem! If our kind has a majority anywhere it is nowheremore than in our law-making bodies. Why those guys out there are veterans inthis field. I am sure even the opposition will pitch in with their fullsupport!"

(Truth is mostly unpalatable…but truth cannot be ignored!Here we serve the truth, seasoned with salt and pepper and a dash of sauce(iness!). You can record your burps, belches and indigestion, if any, atsnp_ajazbaba@yahoo.com)

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