A love-hate classic

Laila-Majnu, Heer-Ranja, Tristan-Isolde, Romeo-Juliet…almost every country and community has one such classic love story as part of its folklore. I think it is time that a love-hate story is also added to the classics of literature or at least folklore. Surely you must have heard of love-hate relationships, most probably you even have had one or more such relationships but I am going to relate a love-hate story which is probably unique and should make it to the classics. My script or story is about these two characters Rashid and his wife (let me hasten to add that the characters are entirely fictional and that any resemblance to persons including any friends or colleagues of mine is of course purely coincidental!). If there would a competition of love-hate relationships this duo (in my story) would win it hands down. The story goes like this: Rashid and his wife are separated but not legally, it is just that they are not living together because their mutual conflicts kind of got out of hand. The paradox is that they see a lot of each other, much more than couples who live together normally do. In fact they meet daily. One day they have an outing together, say a long drive or trying out some new eatery or cafe and the next day they meet again, this time in a courtroom battling it out! Talk of a love-hate relationship! 

The characters exchange gifts and blows with an almost similar frequency as well as intensity. One day Rashid will come sporting scratches on his face bitterly terming it as the latest ‘gift’ from his wife and the next day he is acting cute and coy while showing off a new shirt which as he lets on later is a ‘gift’ from the missus. Or again it will be Rashid in macho-mode describing with grim glee how he utilised his knowledge of physics to deliver a particularly resounding slap to his wife’s cheek without leaving a clue and there he is a day or two later relating in a mock glum tone how he is poorer by several grand because of the mohair cardigan that he bought his wife on an impulse. The relationship keeps changing faster than the weather and is as unpredictable. Rashid keeps updating his friends and office colleagues about the latest developments in the relationship on a daily basis. I must say that this audience is never disappointed for there is a juicy titbit everyday and the whole saga is so unpredictable that they are kept on toes always guessing what will come up next. It is the most discussed and hotly debated ‘serial’ at Rashid’s workplace relegating all the run-of-the-mill TV soups to oblivion. Rightly so for no director or writer, Indian or foreign has ever been able to come up with such a thriller that has so many twists and turns that it will give a complex to even the world’s most accomplished contortionists! 

   

Like every story this story too has its heroes, heroines, vamps and villains but the plot is so ingenious that the roles keep changing. For instance there is Mother, decidedly a villain if you ask the missus but ask Rashid and you get an idea that Mother is the long suffering heroine and it is the missus who is the vixenish villain but wait there is yet a twist here ( I told you the plot is full of ingenuity!). Rashid every now and then (this is usually after the outings or ‘gifts’) lets out a sigh and says that actually it is the missus who is a long suffering heroine (of the razor-sharp-tongue-but-clear-heart sort!). Now of course Rashid does not actually go on to say that Mother is the new villain but you get the drift (mark this, in any good script things are not always said but subtly implied)!   

This story will introduce another unique concept. You must have heard of live-in relationships. If you ask me such relationships are passé.  In this story I intend to introduce you to an entirely new type of relationship – the Live-separate relationship. This new concept decidedly scores over all other types of relationships as you will see for yourself. Rashid gets to live with Mother and is mollycoddled more so as he is apparently a ‘martyr’. The missus in turn also continues to live in her comfort zone with her doting parents fawning over their ‘victim’ daughter. Both get to meet each other frequently, the outings and restaurants and long drives convert what would otherwise be a dull domesticated life into a long courtship and the occasional fisticuffs and court scenes just add thrill and suspense to the plot. Lots of sympathy is gained by both characters and you know that sympathy always comes handy. Friends and colleagues get their daily dose of entertainment which comes from hearing other peoples woes so that one can forget his or her own. So you see this story has something for everyone! 

How does the script end? I have heard that the public does not like unhappy endings or loose ends.  Well neither do I! That’s why the characters in my script while continuing their state of togetherness-in-separation will both work hard to become success stories at their individual levels (the success being of the sort that registers on the account balance!). That shouldn’t be difficult considering that the mundane domestic affairs that plague ‘normal’ couples are missing in this case. And one day in the distant future when all the real and imaginary villains have long ceased to be we will see this couple living in ‘Together-at-last Villa’ reminiscing about how everybody in this world tried to keep them apart but couldn’t. And thus they will live happily ever after… After? After what? After all the high octane drama of course!

(Truth is mostly unpalatable…but truth cannot be ignored! Here we serve the truth, seasoned with salt and pepper and a dash of sauce (iness!). You can record your burps, belches and indigestion, if any, at snp_ajazbaba@yahoo.com)

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