Charming Tweets and Sickening Noises

There was a time when Sir John, Jani would silently watch birds sitting on his window frame 'tweeting' eloquently with each other in mesmerizing sounds.
Charming Tweets and Sickening Noises
Representational Pic

There was a time when Sir John, Jani would silently watch birds sitting on his window frame 'tweeting' eloquently with each other in mesmerizing sounds. Jani would be enthralled with the movement of beaks and the random turns of tiny heads that would seem to transpire love and warmth between the two love birds. His idea of 'tweets' meant love, affection and the crisp charming sound. The present version of 'tweets' involve back bending, neck paining, eye itching and head aching fights over the small screen held in the hands that too without physical collar catching, fist punching, tongue lashing and scary eye contacts. This pattern of tweeting has an advantage over actual fist fights. Even the most meek person like 'Jani' can enter the fray, nudge the most powerful person in the eye with his words and invite only  written abuses without any physical harm.  

Sir John Jani was introduced to the 'Tweeter' by one of his friends who helped him associate his tweeter account with great personalities including film stars, leaders, businessmen, Journalists, bureaucrats, writers and ex-chief ministers by following one and all. He did not need now to roam along the streets and  sit on the Waani-Pend in his mohalla to listen to the gossips running rife about politics in Kashmir. He had the Tweeter-Pend in his hand that made him privy to the important and selectively leaked secretive affairs of all political assemblages. He would get access to the chain of reactions to even small issues that too not limited to the opinion of his mohalla fellows but the thoughts collected across the globe would reach his handset. 

Lucky! Jani, now counting himself amongst the intellectuals started reacting to the issues. Jani spotted a tweet from an ex-chief minister who had sarcastically written "Is Mehbooba Mufti also going to be asked to chant 'Bharat Mata Ki Jai' as a condition for Government formation". Jani, in all his innocence re-tweeted believing himself a member of intellectual breed, tweeting and re-tweeting. There is nothing wrong in saying 'Bharat Mata ki Jai'. After all Bharat is a country and motherland of 1.3 billion population. If you wish and pray for someone's mother there is no harm. And it has been happening since ages, everybody has been saying this in one way or the other. All great leaders from this part of the world have said many things, more forcefully, to solicit benefits for their personal kitties. The earlier dispensations with the parties in the centre too were based on these premises. Had that party currently not been 'politically broke', the conditions and equations would have been similar. If something good happens to this ill-fortuned land by fulfilling this 'precondition' she must go ahead and say it 'for the benefit of people', if not for 'seeking big seat for herself'.  There is a Kashmiri saying, Matlab wizi gasi kharas ti bub wanun. 'You must call a donkey your father when it seems to benefit you', of course without actually meaning it. Most of the leaders have been clinging to this kashmiri axiom and have succeeded in securing bountiful hands on their heads.  

This re-tweet got Jani into trouble. The tweeter-buddies were all fire against Jani. He was labeled a 'traitor' by the separatist favorites for propounding the theory of accepting dictations coyly, practically as good as selling the sacrifices made by the people over the years. The National Conference supporters got infuriated for having been insinuated by Jani of parroting anything and everything for all these years for their personal gains. PDP supporters gave it the twist that Jani is portraying them as opportunists who in the name of nation are seeking favors for themselves and for their party. The BJP supporters bashed Jani with their re-tweets for having been compared with a donkey and then the Congress supporters shot flames to Jani for being termed as 'Political failures'.

While Jani was lost in thoughts, grappling in desperation with what went wrong with his tweet, there was a knock at the door. Jani opened the door to find a burly, mustached uniformed man standing with a big weapon hanging over his shoulders. Jani, you have been summoned by the boss to the camp, said the cop. In the camp Jani was first thrashed for having ridiculed the slogan which he earnestly tried to defend of having not. Jani was asked to do one dozen sit-ups while chanting 'Bharat Mata ki Jai' which he sincerely and genuinely did as he believed he has been doing this since ages. In all this process  he could not control his thoughts popping up in his mind of being the one stoned by one and all for none of his faults.

(The writer is a post-graduate in Management Studies from the University of Kashmir)

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