It all begins from home

The children in adolescence need proper care, affection, and attention from parents
It all begins from home
"The children at adolescence need proper care, affection and intimacy from parents. If they feel they are isolated and ignored by parents they develop a sense of alienation." [Representational Image] Pxhere [Creative Commons]

Parents are grappling with complex situations while dealing with their children in the present social setup. The upbringing of children, and meeting their emotional and social demands, is a Herculean task.

Due to lack of parenting skills yawning gaps remain between parents and children which results in denial of responsibility on part of youngsters. Lack of attention on part of most parents, the children develop social delinquency in their psyche.

The editorial of GK 15 Dec. presented startling situation as per reports of GMC Srinagar wherein nearly 7500 children were found affected by drug addiction in 2020, and 13500 were found in 2021, showing spike in drug addiction cases alone monitored by GMC; and same situation is observed by other hospitals and de-addiction centers across state.

So the primary role is of parents and guardians to understand and contain the menace.

Usually we have three types of parents, one who take high care with apprehensions, second category of parents takes children casually, and third group of parents totally ignore, even in some cases are antagonistic towards children.

The children at adolescence need proper care, affection and intimacy from parents. If they feel they are isolated and ignored by parents they develop a sense of alienation.

They become estranged from their parents. They fall prey to social and psychological abuses. In this state they lose the ability to make fair decisions and lose confidence in themselves. This leads to a vicious circles where they don't get easy escape.

Those children who fail to get proper parenting can indulge in any abusive activity which can be drug abuse, sexual abuse, bullying, delinquency, clashing with societal and ethical standards.

Some ignored and deprived children suffer from major depressive disorders like anxiety, depression and obsessive compulsive disorder.

Positive parenting alone can raise children's holistic personality. So parents need to understand various needs of children, muster knowledge and skills to communicate wisely with children.

Right approach of parents will help them in intellectual and moral regeneration which is otherwise eroded by unbridled power and unlimited freedom.

Some parents become relationship addicts with their children. This develops so much intimacy that vice and virtue among children become indistinct for parents and children get plunged in wilderness and it becomes impractical for parents to mend them.

Overprotection and over care of children develop co-dependency among children which is a relationship in which two (parents and children) become so invested in each other that they can't function independently any more.

This divests the children from feeling of self reliance, confidence and power to combat. It has been observed that mood, happiness and identity of an individual are defined by other persons in co0dependency.

Void between parents and children creates inconsistent behavior in children. No doubt the autonomy of children is a must but parents should keep all this within limits.

Erickson has described the impact of social experiences across the whole life in his theory. He says, "social interaction and relationship plays a great role in the growth and development of human beings”. Parents should possess effective parenting skills. Children must be taught from home through experiences and training in life skills to face the challenges and make bold decisions. It is possible only when children are taught to trust in themselves.

Parents must facilitate a wholesome environment in their homes. If they do it, most successful personality skills will shine in children, otherwise there will be adverse effects which haunt them always and create self debasement. Carl Rogers said that “self actualization occurs when a person’s ideal self is congruent with their actual behavior”.

Parenting is a mission to accept children for who they are, and facilitating them by mentoring to become best for themselves. We have to nurture and nurse them to reinvent their self.

Parents need to desist from sadistic approach, rebuking, intimidations, repressive measures; rather ought to address social, emotional, physical, economic pressures and pervasions; persistent monitoring the activities inside and outside homes and keeping vigil. Parents should command fidelity and faithfulness by fulfilling their moral obligations.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are the personal opinions of the author.

The facts, analysis, assumptions and perspective appearing in the article do not reflect the views of GK.

Greater Kashmir
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