If Covid would not have hit us, things would not have had turned up like this. I remember when we all tested positive for Covid and how everyone was worried and anxious just about you as everyone was aware about your complications and co-morbidities. But just as you struggled and overcame every obstacle and hardship in your life, you did the same and won against it, which was enthusiastically a big relief for all the family members. But who would have known that we had a twinkling time left with you. I remember how you used to sit in the garden, call me, we would have a cup of tea and a nice critique talk about politics and people. How you used to aware me about the good and the bad, the worldly desires and pleasures. I remember how I grew up listening to your wordily-wise thoughts, what you told me about youth days, when you were eight years old and lost your father, raised your sisters, organized their weddings and took care of your mother all alone. All that I have observed is, that you lived your life with an essence of kindness and courage and amelioration.
But as it is said, ‘Sometimes life is very mean’, so went the case with me, I lost my backbone. I remember the very first day you fell ill and were admitted to the hospital and how everyone told me that you were becoming weaker and weaker day by day, showing no sign of recoveries. I remember the video chat to see you, but all I could witness was bruises of injections over arms and neck, xanthosis all over the body, you puling in pain and unconsciously covered in canola and catheter and nose pipes. I remember everyone trying their best, Mama trying everything to make you better, making every possible medication into effect, Nani and Mamu who were on the Tawakul, Iqbal Bhaiya crying every time in fear, that you will definitely come back to them, and I longing in trepidation, who would have know that you were preparing to leave.
Then came the day, which I hate the most, the day I lost everything, the day I lost you. The day when you came home back but only to leave forever, preparing for another realm. You came home not as you looked in your youth days, in creased pants and well dressed clothes, with shining polished leather boots and combed hair, with a charming smile on face and head uplifted with pride but in a white cloth wrapped from top to bottom with the three knots and in a deep sleep, with a divine light on your face as if all your pain and sorrows came to an end. I pleaded you to wake up but you didn’t answer as if you were upset with me. Everyone cried out their thoughts about you and what they owed you .The sadness of air and the tenebrous site made the loss clear.
"I see them coming
They talk to me about good days-- convincing me to join them,
I too wish to go as now I'm awakened by the melody of death,
So, it is my last blink to the eternal peace, to herald the jubilant souls that await my coming."
Paroxysmal wails pleading the panacea for the longing --"Is it really that I lost you or is it my vague vision!
Come home; don’t make me question my existence."
Wails thumping over the mountains like Tumbaknaer.
"I won't hold your hands anymore to stand by your side"--That's what the bygones had said to me too,
I know this time all this is just nostalgic to you,
Now, I only hear your going steps-- fainter & fainter as we both walk towards the opposite realms.--now we are realms apart."
But I see you everywhere, mostly in the oblivion of my tear.
Even the sun here awaits your shadow, the Bastal garden longs yours fragrance, children remorsefully yearn your advices, countless prayers and concerns.
I'm ailing not for the required days but till our reunion, till the revival of our matrimony."
I too shall wait to see you again. I love you Dedu.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts, analysis, assumptions and perspective appearing in the article do not reflect the views of GK.