Almost everyday we hear news of some suicide, usually of a young male in the 18 to 40 years age group. Whenever there is an incident of suicide, people start passing their judgments.
We need to pause and think before declaring our biased judgments. Everyone wishes to live. Life instinct is Universal .No one wants to die. We can collectively help people from taking such steps that leave their families and loved ones in life-long misery. We can seek help if we have such dangerous thoughts.
Whatever the reason for ending life, it indicates our collective failure. It could mean somehow family members have failed to provide needed emotional support, or they failed to understand the situation of a person, or either they take it too lightly. It is almost impossible that someone will commit suicide out of the blue. It is planned but happens in a moment of impulse. People can be talked out of it. It has been done at a number of places, in a number of situations. Lives can be protected.
Implicitly or explicitly, people with suicidal thoughts may give a cry for help. Sometimes people don’t need technical solutions but a patient empathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, a chest to lie on, they need someone to tell them that they can understand the anguish and pain. They need someone to know their struggles and acknowledge them. They need to be told that they may not be able to solve their problems but unconditionally, will stay on for you .
Whenever you know someone is in trouble, try to do whatever you can . Whether it is emotional help, social help, psychological help or financial help, lend whatever you have the capacity to lend. If you realize your support is not enough then motivate them to consult a professional counselor or a psychiatrist. Be sensitive to the content of conversation. If you feel your friend or relative or loved one is sad, irritable, hopeless, talking about death again and again, having no interest in life and other activities then start exploring what the issue is that is perturbing him or her.
Many times after losing a beloved, family members or relatives or friends start realising that they were being given clues about pathetic mental condition by victim but they didn’t pay heed.It is very important for us to remember that we all at some point of time in our critical juncture of life need help in the form of counselling or psychotherapy and there is no shame in seeking help . Just as our physical bodies need doctors , our mind also needs healing. If we can manage our stress then good. If not then we should not hesitate to share it with our family/friends/professionals.
Almost everyone of us has someone whom we can trust and share problems with. If you are feeling hopeless, worthless, depressed, anxious and are experiencing loss of pleasure or having suicidal ideations, don’t deny these thoughts, confront them, seek help. Using coping strategies like thrill seeking, listening to music, watching humorous movies, engaging in drugs is not going to work. They may provide momentarily relief but they are not going to yield a permanent result. Accept the reality, confront your problems, if your problem is such that it can be solved , look for the ways. If it is beyond your control accept it. Turn to your lord. Seek help and strength from him. Try to find meaning in everything. Use religion as a coping strategy. Trust your Lord and fate and believe that whatever happened is for our good and in every adversity there are returns for us. Though consolation like this may seem difficult at times, it is not impossible.
Life is a gift from Allah, it is His Ammanah. We have no right to harm our life. Always remind yourself that I am someone’s daughter/sister/mother/brother/son. Don’t give endless pain to your family by taking this decision. Suicide is never a solution.
The author can be mailed at sheikhbismafarooq@gmail.com
