There is nothing in the universe that denies us the right or the ability to fulfill our God given desire to live a happy life. A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot and realize how blessed you are for what you have! In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.
As I look back in time, the most satisfying moments of my life have been those when I have been on the giving end, be it guidance, a book, enabling someone’s admission, finding someone a job, sharing a meal, giving a look of appreciation or just a smile to someone. In the “Lest we Forget” group photographs taken at different stages of my life, I find that there were colleagues and friends much more talented and gifted but they could not rise in life as much as they deserved. The reason: they lacked guidance, timely support or even an assurance that they could make it. Comparatively, I did much better even though I had always been the victim of unjustified adverse discrimination or even sought to be punished for my belief of uprightness and helpfulness.
There was this elder brother of a colleague and friend. He had been failing in the Math paper year after year till the younger brother overtook him and he also became a friend. That year I resolved to help him and I gave him all the tips required to tackle the Math problems and when he was still not confident, I went and positioned myself some distance away from the exam centre and handed out solutions to the questions that other helpful friends would bring to me on the spot and carry back solutions. He made it this time and wowed never ever in life to have to do anything with Mathematics. He opted for simple arts at graduation level and even qualified KAS.
Then there was another friend, senior by one year in college, who was unlucky to lose his father while in second year TDC. When we went to offer our condolences, he was naturally upset and rued his fate that would not permit him to continue his studies. Cut to the quick, I just begged of him not to entertain this idea and that we would do something about it. Next day, I went straight to my favorite math teacher, who would also look after some administrative matters and told him about the problem. “Tell him to keep coming to the college regularly; we will waive off his fees. You buy the books for the next year in advance and give these to him to study.” The solution having been found, I went to him and almost begged of him to continue his studies and further assuring him that my elder brother would help him in his studies too. He did and qualified B. Sc with a good second class. One evening, he visited me suddenly and said that being a backward candidate, the Deputy Commissioner has sent him a message that he can make him a teacher right away and issue him an order immediately; only that he wanted a blanket and Rs. 5,000 in cash. He had already arranged the blanket but could not get the cash. My father was not at home and I was feeling very sorry for him. But then suddenly an idea flashed and I went to our grocer and told him that my father had asked him to send 5,000 rupees urgently. He gave and I passed on this sum to my friend almost stealthily. However, the moment my father was back home, I told him what I had done. He did not say anything and I felt relieved. The fellow joined as a teacher in a couple of days and started repaying us.
And then my path crossed with a weeping teenage girl surrounded by other girls consoling her. I asked them the reason. She had to appear in the exams the next morning and there was a sudden power cut and she could not revise the lessons. I offered all of them the drawing room of our Departmental guest house where we had an inverter, to study whenever they wanted and gave instructions to the care-taker. This tiny frame of a girl wiped away her tears and came with her bag of books to revise. I did not disturb her. Later, it turned out that she was from a remote village and was staying in the adjoining private hostel and had stood first in the University intermediate examination. I could immediately recall how a lot of talent would go waste for want of guidance and support. I simply assured her to continue her studies as she did and if ever she had any difficulty, she could tell me for resolving the same. And it showed rather pretty early. Her father had found a boy for her and asked her to return to her village and that she had had enough of education. I met him and told him not to spoil her career like he had done in the case of his elder daughter who had scored 87% in M. A. Economics while studying on her own from home. Somehow, I succeeded in persuading him to let her at least complete graduation. Government job means transfer and I also got transferred back to Delhi that I had been trying for. One day an officer from this station visited me in Delhi and told me that the girl had stood first in B.Com and later in M.Com too and her father was sort of cursing me for not having let him marry her off four years earlier and now it was difficult to find her a match. I asked the officer to tell the girl and her father to speak to me on phone. I asked her and her mother to come over to Delhi for six months; arranged one room private accommodation for them and also arranged with a coaching institute to let her attend the classes for free. After the coaching was over, she appeared in the MP PCS and was selected DSP in the very first attempt.
Our office night watchman was very happy to announce that his eldest daughter had scored a first division in 10th Class. After a week or so, I found that he was his usual brooding self. I enquired the reason; she was not getting admission to the Government Nursing School. I tried at my level, but the in-charge there was reportedly a crook and I also got to know that first hand. I asked one of my junior officers to get me in touch with a local private nursing college to request them that this candidate would be able to pay only the government fee. But they were very gracious. They admitted her for free and waived her fee also. Several years later, when I chanced to visit that station and the watchman got the wind of it, he rushed to me beaming and tried to prostrate before me. I resisted and asked him the reason. His eldest daughter had become a full-fledged nurse and she was funding the nursing training of her two younger sisters and had promised to do so for her fourth sister also. It was so touching.
While on inspection, my junior officer received a call and he shouted at the caller. Almost instinctively I could understand that it would be his wife. He admitted and I enquired the reason. “She always wants me to help this relative and that relative and I have got fed up.” What was the cause this time? He was not able to seek admission of her sister’s daughter to the Convent. “Ring up the Father and tell him that I am on the line.” I made a very polite request and the Father agreed. I asked the officer to inform his wife only after apologizing to her. He did it reluctantly and it was my time to shout at him. God had favored him with a position to help all his relatives and friends who would naturally look up to him for help. There is nothing wrong to extend legitimate help to one’s friends and relatives. The next day, the wife came along with her sister to thank me with tears in their eyes. It was again touching.
I was making ad-hoc appointment of stenographers. This boy was nervous though his proficiency in Stenography was okay. His widowed mother had insisted that she would accompany him to try to plead for him. When I came to know, I went downstairs and learnt that it was her last hope after having lost her husband decades back. She had survived only to bring up this boy who was not getting any job because she could not afford even a meal, what to talk of paying a bribe. “The job is his,” I told her. A stream of tears flowed down the face beaming with joy.
We were recruiting computer operators on daily wage basis. One CV caught my eye because the applicant was M.Com with high First Class marks, a first class B. Ed to boost. I told her not to waste her career by becoming a CO. But she seemed to be adamant. This girl from hills had been partly funding her education by taking tuitions and living with relatives who were not kind to her. Her farmer father could not do much for her. She had not succeeded in getting a job despite best efforts. “Where all did you try?” “I could easily be taken as a lecturer on the basis of my merit in any of the local colleges.” “See me day after tomorrow.” I rang up a management college principal and enquired if he had any vacancy on commerce side. He agreed to take her as a lecturer and I sent her a message accordingly. Came her parents all the way from the hills to thank me, which I never thought I deserved.
Then there was this typist in our office whose driver father had been admitted to the government hospital, where he was admitted to die, according to her. I asked my PA to tell the MS that I am visiting a patient in their hospital in the afternoon. I did go in the afternoon and thanked the MS for taking so much care of this patient, who luckily survived. The daughter believes that it only possible because of my visit. I got to know that they are four sisters and a brother depending on this driver afflicted with TB and they could not afford to even pay for petty training courses. A desk top was got delivered at their residence for the sisters to learn. All the sisters are reportedly employed in banks and happily married.
They were used to qualifying the departmental exams after copying. I didn’t allow. They all were upset and cursed me. The Union provoked them against me. Well, I had different plans. They all would be coached by me and other officers proficient in various subjects in the office daily for one hour. They had no option left. However, this time they all passed without copying. Other offices took a cue and requested me for lectures. The Union passes a resolution appreciating my efforts. I felt vindicated.
Moral: Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can. (John Wesley)