After last Saturday’s ‘untimely’ snowfall played havoc the official elders of this beleaguered valley called for an urgent meeting in the safe environs of the warm zone. The meeting began with a prayer of thanksgiving and an expression of gratitude that the annual durbar move existed.
“How well conceived the whole thing is! If the snowfall was untimely, the Durbar move was as usual timely. We escaped…er…I mean made the move at the right time. Of course it is not that we are praising the Durbar move for our own convenience but just imagine how could things be governed from a place where road connectivity as well as electricity would be unpredictable not to speak of the freezing cold!” the eldest of the elders said at the beginning of the meeting. After the murmurs of appreciation died down he continued, “We will now take a review of the disturbances and destruction caused by the snowfall and the lessons learned from this calamity. Ok so what has been the fallout of the snowfall and how can we mitigate that in future?”
“The road connectivity sir. Once snow falls it becomes difficult for vehicles to ply on the roads and people too face difficulties while walking. Now of course the administration immediately deploys snow-clearance machines to clear the snow but sometimes when the snowfall is ‘untimely’ the machines which are rusting…er…I mean resting…during the summer months are not ready and so there are delays,” one of the elders said.
“So what are the lessons learnt?”
“Well sir snowfall cannot always be predicted what we can do is keep the machines operational all through the year. They can do mock snow clearance exercises during the summer months,” the ‘elder’ in charge of the snow clearing department gave his opinion.
“I think there is enough of mock snow clearance exercise in the winter itself,” one of the elders present there said acidly, “Sir I would say that this is a non-issue. So what if people can’t move out of their houses for a day or too! They are used to that what with hartals and curfews and restrictions every other day! I think it is a waste of public expenditure to be spending it on such exercises. What is snow anyway? It does melt of its own if we ignore it.”
“Hmmmph…there’s merit in both the opinions,” the eldest of the elders said, “I think we should make a committee to look into the matter. OK! Let us move on to the next issue. What other problems were encountered?” the eldest of the elders asked.
“Power breakdown! There was a complete blackout shortly after the snowfall started and electricity did not return for long after it stopped,” one of the elders detailed.
“So what lessons have we learnt from that?” the eldest of the elders said, looking around for responses.
The elder who looks after electricity generation and supply and other things related to it cleared his throat and said, “Acceptance!”
The eldest of the elders gave a start and said, “What?”
“Acceptance sir!” the electric elder repeated, “It is always happening sir. Every time there’s a snowfall the electric system breaks down and there’s little one can do about it. So by now we have learnt that it is better to accept this fact and let things be as they are.”
“But there must be a solution?” the eldest of the elders said, “Come on! I think we need some out-of-box solution to this issue!”
“Exactly sir,” one of the elders known for his innovative ideas said emphatically, “I have an out-of-box solution for this problem, out of this box in fact.” He took a box out of his coat pocket and placed it on the table.
The eldest of elders was at a loss of words for some time but finally he said, “I didn’t exactly mean…anyway what is in this box?”
The elder with the box opened the box and took out a candle and holding it aloft said, “This sir! A simple solution for the most complicated issue in the state!”
“A candle!” many elders said in a sceptical chorus but the elder with the candle ignored them and addressing the eldest of the elders said, “Yes sir a candle! I can’t understand why this simple solution has been ignored for so long. Sir I propose that candle factories be established in all districts or maybe even at tehsil levels. This will not only help to produce candles to light up every home in the valley but will also generate employment. The candles will provide both light as well as heat without any of the transformers getting heated up either! And it will be a step towards protecting and in fact rejuvenating our cultural heritage!”
“Mmmmh… Let the concerned departments look into this possibility,” the eldest of the elders muttered keeping his head down as he made a show of shuffling papers. “How do people cope with the cold?”
“That’s no problem sir! They have Pherans and Kangris to keep them warm,” one of the elders spoke up enthusiastically.
“Actually that’s the problem!” the elders concerned with security put in his objections. “The Kangris are a potential weapon. The locals have a habit of hurling them on the slightest provocation!”
“Not at all! Not nowadays! Do you know the cost of a Kangri and of Kangri coals? Nobody can afford to hurl a Kangri in these times!” another elder spoke up.
“Still we need to take precautions,” the security elder insisted, “I suggest that all Kangri purchases should be Aadhar linked and every Kangri should have the Aadhar number of the user etched on it.”
“Mmmmh…What is the status of our disaster preparedness?” the eldest of the elders said.
“We are ready for any eventuality sir,” the concerned elder said with a note of pride in his voice, “We have purchased 200 boats and 400 paddles and have kept our men ready for any eventuality that may result from the snowfall.”
“I can see that everybody is doing his best…” the eldest of the elders said with a sigh.
“Yes sir,” one of the elders spoke up, “But the people…the people are an ungrateful lot sir!
(Truth is mostly unpalatable…but truth cannot be ignored! Here we serve the truth, seasoned with salt and pepper and a dash of sauce (iness!). You can record your burps, belches and indigestion, if any, at snp_ajazbaba@yahoo.com)