Autumn in Kashmir and weddings are synonyms and this year, it’s been no different. I too happened to attend more than half a dozen weddings in the last month or so and finally couldn’t stop myself from writing something closely related to couples and marriages. As unromantic as it sounds, finances play a big role in how successful – and how happy – your marriage will be. Marriage is a relationship about trust, you only expect your partner to give everything to you if you give everything to him or her too. Thus, everything needs be as transparent as possible. It means sharing goals and aspirations as well as your assets and liabilities. A successful marriage is best achieved with a strong and trusting relationship with your spouse, but building the life you wish to have with your partner involves much planning and consideration, especially when it comes to finances. Setting financial goals is only second to setting relationship goals, without a relationship with similar values, no meaningful financial goals will ever be agreed upon. Financial goals serve as a platform for a couple to have something to build together. It brings people closer and motivates people to live with a purpose and direction.
When a couple has no common financial goals, one person may take the other for granted and there might be resentment in feeling unequal in financial contributions. Each person in a relationship has a specific function when it concerns financial contributions. If specific goals are not determined, there might be a chance where the couple may blame each other for not fulfilling the financial goals. There will be some obvious turns – Job changes, Children and retirement in your life that will trigger changes in your financial plans.
For couples who are already married, it is often financial goals to do with common expenses and for increasing the cash pool for emergencies and other financial pursuits like holidays or family planning. Individual financial goals do not implicate another person as much as couple financial goals do. It could be as simple as spending less on lunch during work or allocating more income to your personal hobby. Yet, the first rule of taking care of others is taking care of yourself; therefore, individual financial goals should be made with consideration to self-sufficiency so as not to affect your partner.
Goals are basically targets with a timeline. The price of the goal and the length of time required to achieve it should be ascertained right from the start. It should be safe to plan for the following intervals: 3, 5, 10 years. These are general intervals that people can relate to. Any longer than that and special probations have to be made. Realistic goals represent, in financial terms, goals that are affordable based on people’s income and how much they control their expenses. With regards to common goals, each individual should consult the other when making a financial decision that might affect the common good of the couple. When in doubt about whether your action affects the other person, the safer choice is to consult your spouse. Good communication is the key as it enables handling emergencies, better. It will be useful to have a financial adviser to help the couple regularly review their goals. Some couples might be equally attentive in taking an account of the expenditures and savings of the family. This is something that needs to be established between the couple.
Financial goals change all the time! This happens as often as we change our opinion due to our experiences and circumstances. There is only one universal rule – Everybody must be financially stable no matter how we evolve in order to be responsible to our loved ones. The point that I intend to make here is that couples need to starve their distractions and feed their focus in order to achieve financial freedom. And finally a small piece of advice to the Man of the house “Hold your wife’s hand in the mall, because if you let go, she’ll start shopping – It looks romantic but it’s actually economic.”
(The author is a freelance Financial Advisor)
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