The child is born with some innate tendencies among them one is confidence. It is the confidence which makes him cry when he needs feed. As parents we need to boost that confidence in our child. we should not underestimate the capacity of our child.
We need to show unconditional love and respect towards our children. The things which are based on conditions do not bear good results. By unconditional love and respect I don’t mean blind love but that love which would stimulate him to do the best as per his capability.
Their talent remains hidden but the unconditional love and respect develops a very balanced and socially adjustable being. This makes them socially and emotionally balanced.
Parents should realise the potential of their children. We must instil in them self-confidence and self-reliance. Children should be made responsible. Wrongdoing cannot be ignored but our guided counselling can make our children do better.
Our approach needs to be constructive, we need to instil in them the sense to differentiate between desirable and undesirable. Undue criticism or undue freedom both spoil the child, but guided counselling can bring fruitful results.
Mostly we happen to see that in our society parents compare their children with the high achievers of our society. We forget that almighty Allah has created every individual with different capabilities and capacities. No two individuals are alike.
This comparison is the cause of chaos among the present generation. We should not expect from our children beyond their capacities.
Once we start expecting from them things that are beyond their capability, it makes them insecure and they treat themselves as failures. It sows the seeds of rivalry toxic behaviour, unhealthy competition, loss of individuality and strained relationships.
We see that the children who do not perform as per the expectations of their parents are becoming victims of so many undesirable things. They find the timely solace in the things which make their whole life miserable.
They find refuge in things like drugs. Sometimes they even end up their lives as they feel ashamed for not being up to the expectations of their parents. Almighty Allah has created every individual with unique capabilities, why compel them to be like someone else! Let us accept our kids as they are.
Our trust, confidence, and love would make them a very balanced human being.
By Nuzhat Rehman
Nuzhat Rehman is a teacher.