On a normal Kashmir function or marriage, a brief conversation with the teenagers/children, suddenly take a turn and the guests start asking them, what they want to be in their lives. Without waiting for the answer of their offspring, either of the parents pops out to convey that his child will become a doctor or an engineer. Astounded, the poor kid takes back his gulp and nods his head either in frustration or affirmation; knowing well that this is what he has to do irrespective of the call of his inner self. The grin look at his face reveals all.
Since childhood we get a sketch of a career we want to adapt, either through the conversation with the environment we are brought up in, or through some circumstance or episodes which we have a rendezvous with in our early childhood, or through sheer fascination of some uniform. Whatever the case, the sketch is quite clear in our minds, what we want to do and want to be in our lives and knowingly or unknowingly our mind starts making the virtual world with us within.
At the same time a firm though has taken an abode in the minds of our parents what they want their children to be and they have also started their preparations to support him in all means to become what they want him to be. Their aspirations from their kids is out of their experience with their own lives, or out of sheer competition with their immediate relatives, or out of some strong vacuum in their minds created by; what they couldn’t do, their kids will do it.
Well, is choosing a career and thereby the trajectory just a choice, like choosing some designer dress or a car. Is it that simple? Does it take just the aspiration of the parents and/or the inner call of self only, or, it is/ should be more than that.
Career is something which a person has to live with, unto the end of his life, when I say end of his life, it means till the end of your only life, no options of shifting here and there once you are in. It is actually his first marriage, one where divorce isn’t possible. It is the means/ the vehicle through which he has to meet the livelihood of himself and his immediate family, to make a place for himself in his society and get recognised within, to make a difference to the society and masses and once he retires and looks back at his journey he feels highly content and proud. So don’t we need to see whether we are physically, physiologically and psychologically a match for the career we choose? We need to be an exact match physically, physiologically and psychologically for us to like it every other day and put in more than what we have the previous day to make the difference to all the stakeholders who are directly or indirectly associated with our career. We need to have an inner inert love for our career so that we love it more with every passing day and be an exact match for it so that we don’t fall an odd out and get frustrated during its journey.
Major efforts should be there from the parents. Once a kid is out of the high school, parents should have a one to one with the kid and understand from him where his interest lies, what he wants to do in his life/ with his life and thereupon try to see if he is an exact match for it. These days many tests are there to determine the personality types and there by the traits of an individual like; The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Instrument, John Holland’s SDS, Sokanu Career Test and many many more. It is very important for a successful career that the call should be from the inner self and a person should be an exact match for it; physically, physiologically and psychologically. A Simple candy test done in most of the kindergartens these days determine whether a child has the patience and will try to put in more efforts or take a short cut and accordingly the kindergarten mends the treatment. Children are asked whether they want to take one candy now or two after an hour. Those who take a short cut take one and the patient ones go home with two.
It is important to understand that in today’s world every field offers an equal opportunity to prosper, and earn name and fame and if a kid is an exact fit then sky is the limit. He all along will traverse the trajectory and thereby the journey of life happily and highly content, which will have a reflection on his immediate family and ecosystem. A mismatch will create chaos in his life and thereby the life of his immediate family and ecosystem.
PS: one of my cousins who is very bright and was highly interested in pursuing graduation in Economics made her way through, in Economics department of Saint Stephan’s (where the likes of Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed, Shashi Tharoor, Montek Singh Ahluwalia, Kapil Sibal and many more Brian guns of India have done their education from. Unfortunately, in spite of my repeated requests to her highly educated parents, she was forced to pursue engineering.
Author is the Head Business Development for McDonald’s for North, East and Central India region
mutaher@gmail.com