Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone sins. And then when that happens, sooner or later it takes you on a guilt trip! Countless attempts to comfort our guilt can often feel light and ineffective. Yet what do we do when guilt nags at us and pats on the back don’t help? When shame from hidden sin buries us and makes relief seem impossible? Even praying on the best of nights feels the prayers not being answered by God. For so many of us, the possibility of our guilt being forgiven may seem out of the question. We feel barred from freedom because we know that we don’t deserve it. The memories of the times gone by and their consequences are irreversible and haunting. We’ve simply strayed too far this time. So, we bow our humiliated heads to accept a sash marked “Unforgiveable”, and begin to look at ourselves as unworthy and lonely and unforgivable. Yet we may not be as unique and alone as we think. The need for forgiveness is relevant to us all because in every deep relationship that we have, we must both, seek it and extend it.
God releases and restores us from guilt by applying His forgiveness no matter how far we’ve strayed. So why do we feel unforgiven when healing can be ours through our Lord? The pain of the presence of guilt conscious reflects the reality that there is both good and evil in the world. This feeling is a secret sign that we are emotionally distressed and it makes us accountable to what has happened in the past until we find a solution to this pain. We try to distract or deny or rationalise this guilt away. Yet, those attempts do not do any good to us. It only brings down the standards laid for us to ask from the Lord for what we’re seeking for. This rationalization of the guilt doesn’t work. Because He doesn’t adjust His standards to accommodate our rationalizations.
We at times fail at handling our guilt by living our lives in shame. While we know little about God’s holiness at Him seeking us to come to Him and ask for relief, He becomes the solution to our guilt because He is the one who upholds it. He designs this guilt so we drive ourselves to the solution. On the contrary, the Satan anticipates to power up our guilt feelings. He wants us to dwell on our sins, trap us in our shame and cause us to be distressed all the time. But God’s agenda is to uplift us, convict us through his words in The Holy Book. He wants from us repentance, going back to Him, regretting the past actions, feeling the remorse. And all this leads us to reconciliation and satisfaction. While Satan wants us to live in shame throughout our relationships, God wants us to restore the same through repentance.
There may be times when we don’t feel forgiven, even after we’ve repented. What then? Know that His word is ever true and it guarantees us that if we only confess our sins, He will forgive and cleanse us from all our unrighteousness. When our feelings of guilt do not align with the freedom that we have in our God, then you need to check your feelings because it’s not about the truth of God’s word but your own inner self. You may try to comfort yourself falsely that you’re feeling free of your sin, while you may not.
Regardless of how deep we’ve fallen, or whether we’re forgiven by the person we’ve hurt, the forgiveness that God guarantees us when we repent is remarkably secure. Whether we’re seeking His forgiveness for the first time or thousandth, His eagerness to restore us into relationship with Him is powerful, complete, and unfailing, every single time we go to Him. Where human hearts resist mercy, God constantly waits to forgive even the gravest sins.
Forgiving someone who may have wronged us is another situation where we find ourselves trapped into. While we can’t force someone to forgive us, we can do our part to make it easier and pay forward the restoration we’ve found in God to someone else. We can humbly confess our sin and ask for forgiveness, acknowledge our sin’s impact on them, and refuse to make excuses rather than holding it in the heart and waiting for time to heal it. We can ask for restoration and seek God who can do immeasurably more than we can imagine, in healing the relationship. We can display the character of God to them while we wait – loving them, being patient with them as they process their pain, praying for them regularly. With God’s empowering, we can help soothe the very wound that we’ve caused. Brokenness we’ve caused can serve as a reminding scar to completely forgive those who sin against us and are trapped in shame themselves.
There’s no question that it’s human nature to need forgiveness. We are sinful beings that consistently make mistakes, whether we intend to or not. And yet, God has a reputation for mercy and forgiveness.
For seeking forgiveness, we need to get close to God by using experiences of the past to better ourselves. We can use our experiences for the benefit of the suffering or the sinning ones. Let something good come out of it. We may not be able to look back at the past and lament if we could change it. Because thinking of “if” will only invite Satan into the process of coming closer to God. Creating positives out of the situation will lessen the emotional burden for us and help us to move on from it all successfully by easing the pain. So, instead of overwhelming ourselves with the negatives of the past that you can’t change, focus on being grateful for the good you have today. Thank God for blessing you with the power of repentance and realization. Because there are many out there who have lost their chances of repentance and wish to repent at least once in their lifetime.
Having said that, a lot of us do not seem to be convinced that God is capable of forgiving us for what we did or that we’re worthy of being forgiven. It is easy to feel like this when we feel that the sin you committed was so grave. But we must not lose hope that He won’t forgive you. God loves to forgive. Just be careful not to keep looking back and wishing you could change things, otherwise it will continue to haunt us. And Satan will continue to have a hold of you. Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq (PBUH) said: “On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will extend His mercy so vastly that even the Satan will expect himself to be included with that mercy” (Refer Bihar-Ul-Anwar, Vol.7, Page 287).
We need to begin by forgiving ourselves before our feelings of guilt completely take over our life. Sure, we were weak back then but let us continue to go back to Him now. He longs to restore your relationship with Him so that He can carry out His plans for you. He is willing and ever forgiving. May God forgive us and help us find comfort in His remembrance. Amen!