While casually scrolling through LinkedIn, I found an interesting post that talks about Crabs Mentality, which reads as
“If you put one crab in a bucket it can claw its way out. If there are more than one in a bucket, crabs will gang up and hold all other crabs down the bucket. Trapping one another”.
If we reflect on this crabs behaviour we will realise that this crab’s behaviour and mentality is not restricted to them only but we, humans also show it implicitly or explicitly. In present era most of us are money drunk; we seek status, fame, success and name. We see others as competitors, rivalries and threat. We alone want to reach the top of the ladder. We seek the downfall of others; The Kashmiri proverb; “Hior Nai Pilae Zangai Zilae” (which means if I cannot compete with you, I will at least try to pull you down or cause harm to you) is the apt description of Crabs.
As students, when we aspire for some course or job, we hide it from our friends, we don’t share such information with them; we don’t share the resources and study material with them out of fear that they might go ahead of us and make it; we try our best that others remain behind us.
As neighbours, relatives or business competitors also we show crabs behaviour. When we see any of our neighbour/ relative/competitor growing and flourishing, we start questioning the sources of their wealth or even spread rumours about them and develop animosity. In some extreme cases, people resort to character assassination and black magic to make other person’s life difficult; in our society there is no dearth of such cases. At times we hear stories of some crabs who didn’t even spare their family members. One family member makes life of other family member hell by using black magic or other malicious tactics.
Crabs don’t exist only in personal realm but in our work life as well. Gossiping, spreading rumours and bullying hardworking and excelling colleagues is not uncommon in our work spheres. Some crabs go to the extent of stealing or deleting data from the PC of their target. Some make plots or resort to bribery to stop other person from getting promoted to higher status. Some even try to collect the information about the happenings in marital life of their target and use it to defame them. This goes with religious preachers as well; when some persons of toxic nature see them getting respect and regards they try to knit stories against them.
Take Away: The proverb “ If I cant have it , neither can you” is the crux of crabs mentality. In other words, it is the tendency to pull down people who are considered better or flourishing in any way”. The solution is simple and it is to realise that we are not failing because other people are succeeding. No two people are made to be contained within the same bucket. So, there is no need to feel insecure when we see other people improve. We need to develop a collective growth mindset; grow and facilitate the growth of others; No body is going to take our share. Nobody is going to come between us and our rizq. We just need to trust that. Let’s not become crabs. Lets get happy for each others’ happiness and success.
Lets conclude by the beautiful Arabic quote;
“What is meant for you will reach you, even if it is beneath two mountains, and what isn’t meant for you , won’t reach you even if it is between your two lips”