I have this black hen but at no point of time did I think of naming her Higgeldy Piggeldy or for that matter naming her at all. ‘Black hen’ was enough to identify her so far as I was concerned. It was my nephews – Afaan and Anaan – who started calling her Higgledy-Piggeldy-mamu’s-black-hen. The hen did not seem to mind and in fact actually started responding to this name and so it stuck. This hen was gifted to me by Sula Kak an old retainer of ours who lives in a village that still looks like a village because none of the MLAs of the area ever happened to be of the ruling party. The old fellow had assured me that the hen was a thoroughbred Kashmiri and I never had any reason to believe otherwise; the fact that she laid brown eggs was proof enough of her being a state subject. However, Afaan contested this claim one day. “Mamu what makes you so sure that this hen is Kashmiri?”
“She does not even speak Kashmiri,” Anaan his younger sib piped up.
“Well that’s what Sula Kak said and besides she lays brown eggs so that confirms it,” I said patronisingly. As for Anaan I just gave him a sweet smile postponing a tutorial on the semantics of chicken-speak for some other time.
Ignoring the patronising tone Afaan said, “But I read on the net that there are hens in other places as well, like say England, who lay brown eggs. They call them country eggs. I can show it to you.” He waved his Tab at me.
“You must be right,” I said, knowing from experience that it was no use arguing with his google-supported information. “But,” I continued, “How do you know these brown-egg laying hens in say England are not basically Kashmiri! Like say your Uncle Imtyaz who lives in England.” I had him stymied with this rejoinder.
Enjoying his discomfiture (for it is not easy to upstage the google savvy upstart!), I went on to needle Afaan further. “If you want a further test for Higgeldy Piggeldy’s nationality you just shout ‘Hum Kya Chahtey’ or ‘Azaadi’ in her presence and see how she cackles and crows in response!” I had tried this formula once and my black hen raised such a din with her crowing and cackling that for the whole day my family members had to shout at each other to get a word across!
Some days after this discussion Afaan came up to me and said, “Mamu you are right. Higgeldy Piggeldy is Kashmiri!”
“How do you say that?” I asked the little fellow, surveying his face for any clues about what lay behind this statement.
“She talked to me in Kashmiri!” Afaan said in a whisper loud enough to be heard at the other end of the street we live on.
“Talked to you in Kashmiri? And what did she say?” I said deciding to play along.
“The poor thing is worried about her chicks.”
Indeed Black Hen is fussy about her chicks as hens are wont to be but I too had observed lately that she appeared to be hovering about them more than usual. “Why is she worried?” I asked Afaan, in earnest this time.
“She told me her sister has been arrested. Does she have a sister, mamu?”
“I don’t know. You see Sula Kak got her from his village and I don’t know any of her relatives. Of course she must have brothers and sisters out there. But why has her sister been arrested. And for God’s sake where does she get all this news,” I said.
“The pigeons!” Afaan said. “It’s when they are feeding by her side.” Now this was plausible because I have myself observed than the pigeons come in droves to feed alongside the hens whenever I spread out their feed and haven’t pigeons always been associated with communication!
“They told her that while performing an autopsy on a ‘foreign militant’ killed in an ‘encounter’ a partially digested egg was found in his stomach. The egg was also sent for DNA analysis along with samples of the ‘foreign militant’s’ tissues and both the egg and the ‘foreign militant’ turned out to be from Sula Kak’s village. Higgeldy Piggeldy’s sister’s DNA matched with that of the egg and so she was promptly arrested for being an over ground worker!”
Afaan made the whole story sound so convincing that it was much later when he had gone away to his home that I realised that I had been taken for a ride. These kids! The little scamp had avenged himself for my having upstaged him in the earlier discussion. Well the next time I see him I am going to whack his little bottom for sure! Meanwhile my black ‘Kashmiri’ hen really looks out of sorts these days. She hasn’t laid a single egg since a week now. I don’t know whether she is worried about something or not but I sure have started worrying…
(Truth is mostly unpalatable…but truth cannot be ignored! Here we serve the truth, seasoned with salt and pepper and a dash of sauce (iness!). You can record your burps, belches and indigestion, if any, at snp_ajazbaba@yahoo.com)